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Trust me, Cheech, this is oregano. The only thing getting baked with that herb is lasagna.

Carlos

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Desperate Housewives Season 7 Episode 3 Quotes

The only reason I didn't smoke in college was because I signed the abstinence pledge of my Dungeons and Dragons club.

Tom

Tom: I'm taking the necessary precautions.
Lynette: The necessary precautions being your own weight in cheese doodles?