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Ugh! I'm exhausted, it was finger-painting day at school and a five year old boy... [opens jacket to reveal a hand shaped stain on her blouse] ...got to second base with me

Lily

Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
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HIMYM Quotes, How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes, Lily Aldrin Quotes
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How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Barney [playing laser tag, on phone with Ted]: Hey, loser. How's not playing laser tag? Because playing laser tag is awesome! [kid fires at Barney as he runs by] Oh, I killed you, Conner! Don't make me get your mom!
Ted: Hey, listen, I need your help on something.
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up!

Barney: Lesson one, lose the goatee, it doesn't go with your suit.
Ted: I'm not wearing a suit.
Barney: Lesson two, get a suit. Suits are cool, exhibit A. [points to his own suit] Lesson three, don't even think about getting married til you're thirty.

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