Ugh! I'm exhausted, it was finger-painting day at school and a five year old boy... [opens jacket to reveal a hand shaped stain on her blouse] ...got to second base with me

Lily

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Lily Aldrin Quotes, How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes, HIMYM Quotes
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How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Barney: Lesson one, lose the goatee, it doesn't go with your suit.
Ted: I'm not wearing a suit.
Barney: Lesson two, get a suit. Suits are cool, exhibit A. [points to his own suit] Lesson three, don't even think about getting married til you're thirty.

Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians

Barney