Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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TV Announcer: We now return to, How I Met Your Father.
Ted: Oh Barney, I'm never going to meet the right girl and get married.
Barney: You know Ted, don't you think it's kind of strange for a guy in his twenties to always be talking about getting married rather than getting laid?
Ted: Barney, I'm in love with you.
Barney: (takes out a condom) Suit up. (They start making out.)


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Family Guy Quotes, Family Guy Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes
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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes

Peter: Chris, I would give you a hug, but I'm exhausted for working two jobs for paying your scholarship. I've been selling buttscratchers-BUTTSCRATCHER! ( shows Lois a tiny hand on a stick )
Lois: No, Peter.
Peter: BUTTSCRATCHER! ( shows buttscratcher to Lois again )
Lois: Peter, no!
Peter: BUTTSCRATCHER! ( shows buttscratcher to Lois once again )
Lois: NO!
Peter: ( sad ) Buttscratcher...

Lois: Meg and I have been working at nights.
(scene cuts to Meg and Lois in an alley dressed as hookers. Car pulls over)
Man: I'll take the one in the right.
Lois: (opens the car's door ) Well, once again, Meg, I'll be back in an hour.

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