The patient of this week is a famous author who has written a Twilight-like series of books that House adores. But she wants to kill herself due to physical and emotional pain.

As you might expect, House eventually discovers what is wrong with the patient, after having an epiphany and also after lying to her about an incident with her son: instead of the lady believing she was responsible for his death by letting him drive in a rain storm, House makes up a story about the boy having suffered from a brain aneurysm. This absolves the patient of her guilt and makes her want to live.

Elsewhere:

- Cuddy orders House to find a female replacement for Thirteen.

- House worries about not having anything in common with Cuddy. But she reassures him of what's important: simply enjoying each other's company. This conversation took place after a failed double date with Wilson and Sam at a go kart track. Funny stuff.