Dwight brought bagels so everyone would “owe” him one in his quest to depose Jim.

Michael continued to brag about his relationship with Helene, particularly because it was her birthday, and they were having lunch with Pam and Jim.

Things got tense and strange when Michael found out that Helene is a cool 58 years old. The Helene-is-old theme continued and made Michael realize he had to end it.

Dwight and Andy “helped” each other and did “favors” for one another: Dwight brought breakfast, so Andy bought everyone a taco lunch.

Dwight cleaned the office freezer, so Andy shined Dwight’s briefcase.

They tidied each other up, offered each other comical advice, and so on. No one was about to be out-owed.

At lunch, things got really awkward, but when he revealed the scrapbook he made for her, it became epically so.

Michael decided that Helene wasn’t right for him after all and the time to tell her was right then, as they were finishing birthday cake.

He tried to pin it on Pam, but she dodged, and so he had to launch into the full-on dumping spiel. Helene needs someone who gets her references.

He wants kids, a life that includes bungee jumping and going to Italy, well if he ever wanted to do those things, that is.

Back at the office, Michael offered Pam a raise — bribe — and jokingly offers to let her hit him, which she way too readily accepts.

It’s the threat heard round the office: Ryan and Kelly rushed in to see if Michael was scared, Toby tried to make sure it would happen off company property and offered some punching advice, and Kelly made popcorn.

It seemed that Pam wouldn’t go through with it, but after Michael says that Helene came on to him, Pam whips around and slaps him as hard as she can.