A preview from the upcoming episode of HIMYM, "Duel Citizenship," where Barney tries to Americanize Robin so she can become a US Citizen.
Ted as a college professor? You have to watch this clip from the How I Met Your Mother season premiere.
In this clip from How I Met Your Mother, Lily gets excited by the fact that Robin and Barney are dating... only to soon be incredibly disappointed.

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes

Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Marshall: MILSWANCA's?
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square

I used think family was a right, but it's a privilege, it needs to be earned.