How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes

Season 5 Episode 24: "Doppelgangers"

Ted: Ultimately, we only see what we want to see when we're ready to see it.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Ted: We've all been searching for the five doppelgangers, right? Well eventually, over time, we all become our own doppelgangers. These completely different people who just happen to look like us. Five years ago? That girl was pretty great. But doppelganger Robin? She's amazing.
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Barney: Estonia would close out the Baltics!
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Barney: Kids!? No! Don't have kids! The rule is no kids until you're at least 45. Don't you EVER read my blog? It's gotten a lot better.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: No! Time out! This is a group decision! You can't just move to Chicago unless we all say it's okay!
Ted: Barney, I think this has to be Robin's-
Barney: Stay out of this Brigitte Nielsen or Dolph Lundgren from Rocky IV!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: I know what's bothering you. The cabbie just didn't look enough like Barney.
Marshall: Well that's just not true.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Marshall: But you were the fifth doppelganger! How can you be ... you? I called you, we had a whole conversation, Barney, what happened?
Barney: Ah, yes. I know what happened. People at work have this very strange expectation that I, well, work. I know, I know. So to make my colleagues think I'm busting my hump while I'm really out humping busty chicks, I decided to record a special recording.
Marshall: How can it be a recording, you called me Big Chief, my special workplace nickname?
Barney: Oh, buddy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: The never ending battle of my life. Career vs. romance.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ted: Let's just say there were some senior citizens who attempted to "drown" on my watch ... and sadly one who did.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Ted, I love you buddy, but there is no way you can pull off blonde.
Lily: Seriously, Ted, don't do it.
Ted: I'm going blonde!
Lily: Awwww.
Marshall: That is NOT the outcome we were hoping for.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Fun fact. Highest rated Monty and Moo-Moo episode ever.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Don: [to Robin] Before I met you I'd given up on everything. Relationships. Career. Pants.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: I can't wait to tell the gang. This is one of those moments you dream about! Guys ... Lily and I ... are having unprotected sex. I just got the chills.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: You guys bangin'? Keep goin', I'm not even here. But just for the record? Having a baby? Big mistake.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Kids, up to this point in the story we had found doppelgangers - eerie but awesome lookalikes for four of the five of our little group. There was lesbian Robin. Mustache Marshall. Stripper Lily. And Mexican wrestler me. Yes, mine was the coolest. So we were all eager to find the fifth doppelganger, Barney's. Turns out it was more important to some of us than others.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Why is Ellen DeGeneres in our bedroom?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: The universe in all its infinite wisdom is telling you to stick me and stick me real good.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Marshall Eriksen, put a baby in my belly.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 23: "The Wedding Bride"

Royce: I think you owe us an apology.
Ted: No-can-do-ski, baby doll. No-can-do-ski.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Robin: Why don't you say something to him?
Lily: He's from Minnesota. His high school mascot was a hug.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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