Classic TV Quotes: Futurama Season Two

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With season 8 of Futurama right around the corner, it's tough not to be filled with excitement and anticipation. 

Airing since 1999, fans still love the show and look back on its hilarity. Reminiscing over this season reminds you of the creativite and comedic jokes this show has had from the very beginning.

From spoofing the Titanic and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, to coming up with outrageous and original story lines, season two of Futurama had some of the funniest moments in the show's history.

Futurama season 2 photo

What better way to reminisce over this hysterical television sitcom than to look back on Futurama Quotes that never cease to be funny?

Fry: You're using an awful lot of makeup there.
Amy: This is deodorant.
Fry: What does it do? | permalink
Amy (talking to Fry): When ever I get lonely, I can look over my shoulder at this disfiguring scar and think of you. | permalink
Lincoln: Four score and 1145 years ago our forefathers' foreheads conceived a new nation.
Washington: And this Presidents' Day we honoureth those values that my body fought and died for.
Malfunctioning Eddie: Values like this brand new Plymouth V'Ger! Hi, I'm Malfunctioning Eddie and I'm malfunctioning so badly I'm practically giving these cars away! | permalink
Hermes: Which concludes the summary of the movie I saw last night. Now, any old business?
All: No.
Hermes: Any new business?
All: No.
Hermes:Anyone spend the night together? | permalink
Amy: We ran out of fuel on Mercury and one thing led to another.
Fry: And it led there again when we got home. | permalink
Bender: Congratulations, Fry, you snagged the perfect girlfriend. Amy's rich, she's probably got other characteristics. | permalink
Leela: Bender! Romance isn't about money.
Bender: Oh, so it's just coincidence that Zoidberg here is desperately poor and miserably lonely? Puh-lease!
Leela: For your information, it's because he's hideous. | permalink
Fry: Everything was going great. Then, all of a sudden, she's talking about hanging out. Hanging out? She's getting way too serious. I'm not a one woman man, Leela.
Leela: You'll be back to zero soon enough. | permalink
Leela: There's no room for two captains' butts in this chair!
Robot Leela: There would be if you'd have taken a spin class instead of lounging around in a coma! | permalink
Bender: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion, the x makes it sound cool. | permalink
Bender: Hey, I called this city! Quit touching my stuff!
Zoidberg: Tell it to claw.
Bender: Bite my colossal metal ass! | permalink
Amy: Wow! Sporty go-cart, Leela! So hip and sexy. Not like you at all. | permalink
Bender: That's the world's greatest robot artist, Vincent van Gobot. He was built without an ear, but then he went crazy and had one installed. | permalink
Fry: Yeah, uh, I'd like a cup of coffee, please.
Coffee Machine: Would you like cream?
Fry: Yes, please.
Coffee Machine: Out of cream!
Fry: Oh, uh, OK.
Coffee Machine: Would you like sugar in your coffee?
Fry: Yes, uh, eight spoons.
Coffee Machine: Out of coffee! | permalink
Leela: Hey!
Armband: By the way, try washing your wrist sometime. | permalink
Fry: Is anything not a robot?
Lamp: I'm not a robot. | permalink
Mom: Everyone, help mom find her bra. | permalink
Leela: Ugh! Great. We're two days from Earth with no food.
Bender: Problem solved: You two fight to the death and I'll cook the loser. | permalink
Bender: I found some rocks. You guys eat rocks, right?
Leela: No.
Bender: Not even if they're sauted in a little mud? | permalink
Leela: We haven't thought of a name yet.
Bender: They're tasty, right? Let's call 'em "Tasty-cles".
Amy: Ew!
Farnsworth: No!
Leela: We can't call them that.
Bender: Why not?
Leela: It sounds too much like those frozen rocky mountain oysters on a stick. You know, Test-cicles? | permalink
Waterfall Jr.: Popplers are living creatures. You gotta stop harvesting them for food!
Bender: Or what?
Waterfall Jr.: Or we'll boycott Fishy Joe's.
Leela: You're vegetarians, who cares what you do?
Waterfall Jr.: Shut up. | permalink
Nd-Nd: Would you like some human with your salt? | permalink
Bender: I'll miss you, Leela. I know you're just a carbon-based life form but I'll always think of you as a big pile of titanium.
Fry: What Bender means is, you're really brave, and smart, and beautiful, and a great friend.
Bender: Just like titanium! | permalink
Jrrr: Hear me out. There are many good reasons to eat: Hunger, boredom, wanting to be the world's fattest man. But not revenge. | permalink
Donbot: You call this a table? You call this a table? I wouldn't hit a guy over the head with this table. | permalink
Bender: Wow! Thanks.
Donbot: Hey, you earned that 50 bucks.
Bender: You gave me a twenty. | permalink
Bender: You know the secret of traditional robot cooking? Start with a good, high-quality oil... then eat it. | permalink
Donbot: We're heisting a shipment of Zuban cigars.
Bender: Zubans? Those are the finest cigars in the universe. I can stink up a hole maternity ward with one of those things. | permalink
Donbot: Alright, here's the battle plan: We shoot, they surrender, we go aboard, somebody does some clamping, then we heist the cigars and go home.
Bender: And all without killing anyone. This gang's got some fresh, new ideas. I admire that.
Joey: Oh, we'll kill 'em alright.
Clamps: We got 'em heavily out-clamped. They won't know what clamped 'em! | permalink
Leela: I'm back at the wheel, Fry. Everything's under control.
Fry: Great, great. The one time I forgot to buy flight insurance! | permalink
Amy: Sunburn! My fabulous body! It's ruined! What happened to my parasol?
Bender: I don't know. It wasn't here when I took your umbrella. | permalink
Fry: Well I saw a real mermaid and I wish for once my friends would have decency and kindness to believe me.
Leela: Ocean madness.
(Fry storms out)
Farnsworth: He may have ocean madness but that's no excuse for ocean rudeness. | permalink
Fry: Hey! I can breath and talk, just like a fish!
Mermaid: Oh, you speak fish? | permalink
Umbriel: What the hell is that?
Fry: Yeah I'm a little confused too. How do I... y'know... with the tail and all?
Umbriel: I'm not your first am I? I mean, I-I lay my eggs and leave and you release your fertiliser. | permalink
Umbriel: Oh, Fry! I want you to make a mer-woman outta mer-me. | permalink
Leela: Hubert J. Farnsworth was born April 9th 2851 in New New York's nerdiest slum, Hell's Laboratory. A precocious child, young Hubert learned to read while he was still in diapers - at age 8. | permalink
Leela: After 14 years of graduate school, Farnsworth settled into the glamorous life of a scientist: Fast cars, trendy nightspots, beautiful women - the Professor designed them all working out of his tiny, one-room apartment. | permalink
Fry: Man, the Professor's been in his lab for days.
Bender: I hope he didn't die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor. Then I hope he did die. | permalink

Futurama Quotes

Fry: Bender, what is it?
Bender: Whoa, what an awful dream. Ones and zeros everywhere. And I thought I saw a two.
Fry: It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two.

Bender: Cheer up, meatbag. You've barely touched your amoeba.
Fry: It looked good but I just don't feel like eating. You want it?
Bender: Nah, I'm trying to watch my input. I need plenty of wholesome, nutritious alcohol. The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged.
Fry: What are the cigars for?
Bender: They make me look cool.