Ok, y'all. When Rayna Cruz volunteered as tribute to hand her last remaining life over to Bonnie, there was pretty much a guarantee that nothing good would come of it, and I'm sort of hacked off about it.
The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 20 showed us how far Damon will go to save his (former) best friend's life and how far supernatural beings will go to screw with anyone and everyone.
While it might have been totally predictable that Rayna would end up screwing Bonnie over during their life swap, it wasn't any less enraging and sort of sad to see it come to pass, particularly on the heels of The Vampire Diaries Season 7 Episode 19, with the Bonenzo-back story.
So now that Bonnie's happy and in love and Enzo's happy and in love, the writers had to go and jack it all up because, of course, no one can ever just be happy on this show. I mean, what? No. Happiness is not a thing which exists in The Vampire Diaries universe.
I'm kind of hacked off about it, to be honest. So this might get a little ranty and I apologize in advance except I'm not sorry. Probably there's a chance someone else out there is feeling this same way and sometimes a word purge is good for the soul.
Bonnie and Enzo don't get to be happy. Caroline and Ric have never really been happy happy, and they definitely won't be now that Stefan is back in the picture.
Matt Donovan is actually the reason his beloved Penny is dead because he shot her in the chest in the woods and then Stefan mind-wiped him which just made him even more unhappy than he would've been if he'd been allowed to live with the truth.
Damon doesn't get to be happy because everyone hates him and Elena's in a coma until his (former) best friend Bon-Bon kicks it.
This show is getting really, really depressing guys. Can we just for once leave SOMEONE alone? Anyone? Bueller?
Here's my hope for this whole Bonnie the Vampire Slayer thing we've got going on. Remember when Jeremy became a hunter and wanted to kill all the vampires but they spelled/trained him not to want to kill his vampire friends?
Let's do that again with Bonnie. Let's spell her not to want to kill Damon, Stefan, Enzo, and Caroline and then send her on about her business. She can kill everyone else if she must. No one else really matters right now.
If we can't do that, this is just going to be another time when Bonnie gets shat upon by the writers.
Are they trying to make her the villain or something? Because let's be real. Bonnie the Badass spelling the entire Armory closed with whatever was in that vault trapped inside to turn everyone in that house into evil monsters who will all happily hang each other from meat hooks was pretty epic.
We should definitely be allowing her to use her powers for good and that does not involve or include killing her friends.
Plus I really, really like Bonnie and Enzo and found their little cozy moments together over the past two weeks incredibly sweet and actually real-life believable (even though Michael Malarkey is happily married).
I don't even know what to say about Caroline and Ric except yep. Saw that coming. He's the one who wants to get married. She's there for the kids, pining after Stefan in her secret, compartmentalized heart of hearts.
They're a couple and a family by virtue of the fact that they all live in the house and are raising the twins together, but that's as far as their love affair goes. They're not sleeping together or even being really romantic, and Ric's okay with that.
He knows Caroline isn't though, so the Caroline-Ric relationship isn't long for this world.
That doesn't mean she needs to run back to Stefan. Not so fast, people. Three years is a long time to build up a lot of hurt. If one glance undoes it all, nothing is believable. And yes, I know I'm talking about a show about VAMPIRES but still.
If we see them running toward one another into a full-on makeout session without so much as a conversation, I'm calling shenanigans. Hash it out. Be hurt. Talk that hurt out. Then work on trusting each other again, but for the love, guys.
He and Matt should just team up and be a bachelor-single dad duo of...sadness? Yeah. That's probably about as much as they can muster. Immense, soul-sucking sadness. Poor dudes.
What did you think of "Kill 'Em All"? Will Bonnie be able to overcome her newfound huntress tendencies? Is it curtains for Bonenzo because of this curse? Jump into the comments below and let's chat!
Miranda Wicker is a Staff Writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.