Chloe did Lucifer, alright, and she should never make an attempt again.
Chloe proved she has no idea how to use her feminine wiles on Lucifer Season 3 Episode 8 when she thought to impersonate Lucifer might give her a leg up catching a killer with LA's hottest people.
That's not technically true. Maybe Lucifer glamoured her into thinking it was the best idea. Who remembers? Regardless, it was atrocious. It was still a fun hour of television with a lot more packed in there, though.
I'm still incredibly confused what installments belong where this season because "Chloe Does Lucifer" felt like a natural followup to Lucifer Season 3 Episode 7 given the death of Linda's ex happening so recently.
My initial thought while watching the latter was it belonged, but then you guys talked me into (Oh yeah, playing the blame game) thinking it was a Lucifer Season 2 episode that was misplaced. I give up.
Here are some thoughts about Lucifer Season 3 as a whole and why it seems so off to me. I cannot understand what happened between Lucifer and Chloe by way of any logic. Why is he so hellbent on keeping her at arm's length? Because he can't lie to her and can't tell her the truth about being the devil?
I feel like at one moment they were thisclose to becoming something special and then Mother happened, he got his wings back, and he thinks he can't explain who he is without the devil face, so he's acting like the devil by treating her like crap relationship-wise.
Isn't there a happy medium? One in which he hangs with Chloe and enjoys the family time becoming more normal by the second (#shoe) but doesn't have to erase all of his progress with a useless screw afterward?
Dan: Oh, I don't know. Monopoly? Doesn't exactly sound like the old Lucifer. I kinda have to say, you have become a bit "normal."
Lucifer: How DARE you?
Some of Lucifer's best scenes feature him and Chloe at her house with Trixie.
The entire conversation about Monopoly was brilliant. If I'd been Chloe, I would have shushed Trixie to let Lucifer think the thimble was a shot glass so that I knew he was playing the game like a nimble little old lady.
The case of the week fit so perfectly with his obsession with being fiercely popular and fabulous that getting his face painted with ponies and using Barbies (or their closest replica) to stage Chloe's miserable outing at Lucifer only worked all the better.
Amenadiel: Honestly, Luci, who cares how you spend your nights?
Lucifer: Um, EVERYONE! My exciting lifestyle gives regular people something to aspire to! I provide hope!
The more Lucifer pushes to do anything in his life, the more he fails. The same is true for most of us, as the episode portrayed across the board.
Lucifer's fabu-dar (sound good to me!) was off. He was misreading everyone. He was siding with all the people who were anything but fabulous -- hashtag disguised top hats -- because he's become so damned superficial while he tries to hard to stay away from Chloe.
He fails at every turn and somehow manages to spend more time with Chloe in an intimate setting than he ever did before, but all the while, he's telling himself it means nothing.
Amenadiel was chuffed to bits to hear about Lucifer and Chloe and how much time they're sharing, and even more that his brother is getting boring. Anything that brings a giant smile to Amenadiel's face like that works for me.
But while Lucifer is doing anything to stay far, far away from Chloe (so he thinks), have you noticed how much Amenadiel wants to be near Linda? The romance between Chlucifer may be on hold, but I'm having a hard time not seeing something blossoming between Linda and Amenadiel.
His face was tight and anxious as soon as he heard Linda was suffering a family emergency, and there was no place he wanted to be but by her side.
Linda was struggling with Reese's death, and Amenadiel did what he could to soften the blow. Only a guy with some feelings wouldn't protest when discovering he's just helping a girl cement her choice for an urn rather than project an opinion.
Linda wasn't acting right, and it's because she had two things on her mind. The first was how her brush with death outweighed Reese's actual death, and the second was how much it sucked to be a celestial insider because all of the mysteries of the world were gone.
Linda was trying to push feelings about Reese's death she just didn't have, much like Lucifer was trying to push himself to continue to be one of the fabulous, braindead of LA. Everybody pushing instead of letting themselves be.
When Linda and Amenadiel were lying on the sand, there was a moment there when I thought he wanted to go in for a kiss. It would be difficult not to be attracted to a guy like Amen (ha). He's full of kindness, and Linda's always had a thing for his big guns.
Now that he's even her knight in shining armor, it has to make everything a little more complicated.
Not to be outdone in the pushing department, Ella and Charlotte were battling each other, too.
If you watch Lucifer online, maybe you feel like me because I can't believe how much Ella has changed since we first met her. I can't imagine someone going to her for help, darkness or not, and not doing her best to make a difference.
Charlotte: You know, you might be just the person to guide me.
Ella: To where?
Charlotte: To somewhere other than hell. You see, I've learned there are consequences to my darkness. Really permanent ones, as it turns out. And I was thinking, you could help me avoid them?
But even when Charlotte revealed why she wanted Ella's help, Ella wasn't on board. Ella wasn't even all in on her normal niceties, such as being kind to old people on the elevator. She was going through the motions, but being kind of rude about it in her quest to get away from Charlotte.
Ella's even afraid of Charlotte's sense of humor! (Sense, I'm ashamed to say, far too similar to my own...to hell with me.)
I didn't expect Charlotte to be so damn similar to Mum. Is it possible she's even worse? She has no problem being a criminal, and I laughed when she refused to believe the very person she was asking for ethical and moral help cared about people's kids enough to stand around and converse with them.
First, she accused Ella of avoiding work with her idle chit-chat, then she accused her of actually liking it! The nerve!
Taking a job at the DA's office means Charlotte will be around more often. At least we have an answer how they managed to pull that off. She can make everyone uncomfortable, and hopefully, continue to say inappropriate things in competition with Lucifer.
Lucifer never stops being fun, but the man needs to listen to his heart. When he hears Chloe say, "What's wrong with thinking people should be loved for who they really are?" he needs to do more than wrinkle his forehead for a split second. He needs to process it and learn from it.
They don't have to be together for the show to be enjoyable, but Lucifer has to continue growing. Screwing everything that walks is getting old. If he didn't do that but also didn't pursue Chloe, that would make a more challenging work environment.
I'm ready to switch things up a little between Lucifer and Chloe. How about you? What would you like to see after the holiday hiatus?
Hit the comments!
Carissa Pavlica is the managing editor and a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.