That was how to throw a wedding.
There was politics, deceit, magical attacks, and even murder at Charval Bellweather's ceremony on Motherland: Fort Salem Season 1 Episode 5.
And let's not forget heartbreak -- lots of heartbreak.
Now where to start?
Well, since it was a High Atlantic-style Bellweather wedding, let's begin with the conflicted Abigail.
Poor Abigail couldn't just come home to see the family like any other student away at school, especially her favorite cousin Charval who was getting married. That's not the Bellweather way.
Instead, during Petra's recent visit to campus on Motherland: Fort Salem Season 1 Episode 4, the general demanded that Abigail come, and to bring her unit, the hippie (Tally) and the yokel (Raelle).
After all, there would be a lot of important people at the ceremony, especially the dean of War College.
No pressure. Not only was Abigail's behavior being scrutinized, but also she had to babysit Tally and Raelle, who weren't familiar with high-society deportment.
To make matters worse, Scylla decided to crash the event, on the orders of her Spree overlord.
So now there was an uninvited guest attached (at the hip) to one of her unit mates, which reflected poorly on Abigail. After all, couldn't a leader have kept that from happening?
Fortunately, between nips from Charval's flask and a quickie with a handsome guest, Abigail was able to take the edge off a bit.
In retrospect, the scenes between the two cousins were the only heartwarming ones of the episode.
Thanks to her mother, Abigail thought that her future was hanging in the balance and depended on a good first impression on the dean.
Charval rightly predicted that Abigail was a sure-thing legacy pick and that she needed to chill out.
The actual introduction was a major letdown, as the dean let Abigail know that her ascension was preordained.
That thought just pissed off Abigail, who has been working so hard to prove herself, especially to her family.
The ceremony between Charvel and Ciro Hood was an odd event, much more like a merger than a marriage.
Or a breeding arrangement, to produce the next generation of snooty witches.
Officiating over the ceremony was the enjoyable Berryessa, who always looks like she knows a secret that no one else does.
The murder of Charval was a shocker, done by two Spree who snuck in as servers.
Alder's forces need to develop a Spree detector, rather than just waiting for balloons to show up.
Abigail held her own in hand-to-hand combat against the two assassins, although she would have been dead if Petra hadn't shown up to kick some Spree ass.
Surely, battling together earned Abigail some points from Mommy Dearest.
Sadly, Abigail might not have had the worst day among the unit mates, although it's hard to top finding your cousin murdered and getting stabbed by an assassin.
Maybe Tally's day was worse since she hasn't learned yet not to wear her heart on her sleeve. That sheltered upbringing is going to keep biting her on the ass, isn't it?
Part of Tally's heartbreak, I put on Abigail. Shouldn't she have explained Gerit's special circumstances to Tally since he was likely to be at the wedding?
But no. Instead, Tally went full schoolgirl after Gerit, which just isn't done by the High Atlantic. Especially if the target of your adoration is engaged.
Gerit did try to explain to Tally that what happens in Beltane stays in Beltane.
But at the Bellweather wedding, he was giving off all kinds of mixed messages. "I love you and want to spend my life with you, but ..."
Love is love, but a contract is a contract.
See. That wasn't hard at all to explain. But Tally had to find out by witnessing his joining for the next five years.
Yeah, a heads-up from Abigail might have helped avoid that train wreck.
Then, while having a good cry, Tally overheard Scylla plotting Raelle's abduction with her Spree boss.
So not only had Tally lost her first love, but also she was about to break Raelle's heart. Still, that's better than her being kidnapped.
Tally wisely alerted Anacostia about her suspicion, one of the few smart things she did that day.
Raelle and Scylla were bound to end badly, and not just because Scylla was trying to bring Raelle over to the dark side.
Scylla also made the mistake of falling for Raelle. So she had to choose between duty and love, with the latter likely to get her killed.
In the end, Scylla opted for love, choosing to keep dancing with Raelle rather than take her to the Spree.
The wedding was an obvious target for a Spree attack, and that was an exciting action sequence with the military springing into action.
When it was done, the two assassins had dispatched themselves, and Scylla had disappeared, the charm that Raelle had given her the only reminder that she had been there.
Is Scylla gone? And how will Raelle handle her betrayal? I'm guessing not well.
Speaking of betrayal, Petra and General Clary appear to be plotting against General Alder, who was suspiciously absent from the wedding. But Anacostia was registering everything going on around her.
So how are Alder and her forces going to get ahead of the Spree and attack rather than playing defense all the time?
To revisit the Spree attacks, watch Motherland: Fort Salem online.
Which unit mate had the worst day?
Should the Bellweathers have expected the Spree attack?
Is Scylla gone?
Dale McGarrigle is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter.