Why does anyone in Salem trust DNA test results?

Nicole hoped getting a paternity test would prove that Sloan stole her baby, while Eric thought it would make Nicole stop insisting any such thing had happened. Predictably, the DNA test results went Eric's way -- for an even stupider reason than usual.

Afterward, Nicole spent most of Days of Our Lives during the week of 12-04-23 yelling at people for thinking she was crazy while struggling to accept that her son was dead.

In real life, if a DNA test shows that someone is not a child's parent, then most likely, that's the end of the story.

But DNA switches happen frequently in Salem, so taking it for granted that these results are accurate seems silly. There are also so many other holes in this story -- why haven't Nicole or EJ investigated anything?

Even the way the DNA test was done was suspicious.

It's logical to assume that EJ is the father of the baby since Nicole doesn't know about the other DNA test editing Sloan did. But since the point was to prove that Nicole is the baby's mother and they did not use her DNA, this test proves nothing.

Nicole was in the hospital waiting for results, so there was no real reason to use EJ's on-file sample instead of asking Nicole for a new sample on the spot. And if Nicole were as determined as she usually is, she should have demanded one anyway.

The only reason I can think of that Nicole wouldn't do that is that she is fed up with everyone thinking she's crazy and doesn't want to appear more delusional by demanding a second test.

Even if Nicole believed this test was accurate -- which, again, can't be taken for granted in Salem -- there are so many holes in this story.

No one ever told Nicole where Eric and Sloan got this baby, which is a reasonable question to ask. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Days of Our Lives again went with the tired soap trope of the easily blackmailed, shady doctor who claimed that the baby had died. That same doctor claimed the baby had accidentally been cremated so that Nicole couldn't hold him one last time.

That should have rung a ton of alarm bells. At the very least, Nicole should have asked Kayla how such a thing could have happened. And does Pierce even work for this hospital?

Once upon a time, Nicole was an investigative reporter with solid instincts and a knack for being in the right place at the right time to learn inconvenient truths.

While it's understandable her judgment is clouded by grief, she was the one who confronted Dr. Raynor about switching Sarah and Kristen's babies.

Since Nicole was so convinced before the DNA test that Eric's baby was hers, she should have looked into whether Pierce could have done a similar baby switch. 

And EJ has been both the victim and perpetrator of fake dead baby stories before, so he also should be far more suspicious than he is.

The baby switch secret may unravel without Nicole and EJ's help. Stop making characters stupid for the sake of the story!

Friday's cliffhangers were fantastic, but does anyone believe this story is anywhere near over?

Roman: Where's my grandson?
Eric: Here he is.
Roman: Oh wow. He's beautiful. And maybe I'm imagining things, but the eyes... I can see the resemblance.

• Permalink: Oh wow. He's beautiful. And maybe I'm imagining things, but the eyes... I can see the...

Roman noticed the baby looked like Eric, while Leo showed up at Nicole's door. And most damning of all, Eric received a voicemail from an adoption attorney apologizing for the adoption falling through.

Days of Our Lives has this habit of making us think it's all over, only for characters to lose their courage or find their way out of the corner they've been backed into.

Roman's comment was the least important; he acknowledged he was likely imagining things, and his opinion could be easily dismissed as a grandfather so in love with his non-biological grandson that he's seeing what he wants to see.

If Nicole remembers that Dimitri attempted to tell her something a few days before his arrest, she could believe Leo's story -- assuming he tells her the truth. But he'll likely back out and say he's here to offer his condolences.

But how will Sloan get out of being caught in a lie this time? If Eric were smart, he'd break up with Sloan, and not just for the sake of drama, either.

She's been acting like she has something to hide since they got the baby, and Eric was half-convinced that Nicole was right because of Sloan's irrational response to learning about the DNA test.

Now, there's even more evidence that something happened that shouldn't have, but Sloan thinks on her feet. So she may devise some crazy, convoluted story that Eric should see through but ultimately won't.

Let's hope I'm wrong. This story has dragged on for far too long as it is. Yes, Days of Our Lives likes to make things last six months, but this is one time where it needs to take its cues from Neighbours' faster pacing.

Nicole's been crying for weeks about the "loss" of her baby. Kudos to Ari Zucker for a job well done, but we've had scene after scene of Nicole grieving when the baby's alive.

It's beyond time for her to learn the truth.

The only downside is that EJ and Nicole will probably not stay together post-reveal. It's impossible to reveal the truth about the baby without contending with EJ not being the biological father. Days of Our Lives still sticks to the trope that parents must reconcile romantically.

In this case, it's stupid. Eric and Nicole do nothing but fight, while EJ has been surprisingly soft-spoken and supportive since Nicole's baby "died." 

His suggestion to have another baby was insensitive and ill-timed, but even that came from a well-intentioned place.

I never thought I'd support this couple -- EJ used to be incredibly abusive toward Nicole -- but now I'd prefer them to Eric and Nicole's next attempt at romance.

Elsewhere, Maggie also swallowed a bunch of stupid and obvious lies.

Konstantin is not nearly as good at being a criminal as the late Victor Kirakis was. He jumped immediately from "The Greek Mafia wants me to stay the hell away from their territory" to "I can only stay in the US if I marry a citizen."

He might as well have handed Maggie a neon sign warning that he's after her money. She hasn't responded to his nonsense yet; please tell me that she will laugh at his transparent attempt to get his hands on her fortune.

The more interesting thing here is that Steve has sent Shane a photo of the kidnapper to enhance, not knowing that the perp is Shane's daughter.

As an aside, Shane should have far more critical things to do than it seems. Despite the volatile world situation, he had time to do two favors for his friends and family in Salem this week, and at least one of them seemed extremely unimportant. 

That said, this makes for a hell of a conflict. Could Charles Shaughnessy be on his way back to our screens?

If there's any time when an impromptu visit is warranted, it's when you've received security footage suggesting your daughter was involved in a scheme to fake a kidnapping. And Shane reading Theresa the riot act over this would be fun!

Plus, the last time he was in town, Jen Lilley played Theresa, so it would be interesting to compare how Emily O'Brien plays off her TV dad.

The Theresa thing will make for solid drama, but why did Shane do that favor for Stephanie?

Chad's plan was idiotic, and he deserved to get unmasked, especially since he didn't cover his tracks well. But finding out who owned the shell company that fired Everett seemed trivial compared to what Shane's daily duties as the head of the ISA should be.

Stephanie had a right to be mad. Chad used his money and influence to interfere in her friendship with Everett. But she also refused to take any responsibility for her part in this mess, blaming Chad entirely for the situations with Alex and Everett.

She ignored that she refused to set boundaries with Alex and let him camp out 24/7 in their apartment, deliberately interrupting dates with Chad.

She also didn't take responsibility for not telling Chad that Everett was in town and had been over to see her, rushing out for work emergencies with Everett that could have been handled remotely, or telling Everett intimate details of her conflicts with Chad.

Worst of all, she misconstrued the reasons for Chad's reluctance to marry, making it into some selfish game he was playing that hurt her instead of displaying the slightest bit of empathy for the fact that he was grieving his late wife.

Stephanie never had a problem with Chad's grief issues until Steve interfered. Ever since, she's whined every chance she got that if Chad loved her as much as he loved Abby, he'd marry her and thrown his grief in his face.

Didn't she break up with Alex because he interfered with her saying goodbye when Kayla allegedly died?

For several months, she barely functioned because of the perceived loss of her mother. How dare she now pretend that Chad's grief over Abigail's death is an excuse for stringing along a woman he doesn't love? 

Grosser still she left without warning, which means that, as far as we know, she didn't bother saying goodbye to the kids.

That's seriously not cool. Ask Neighbours' Nell Rebecchi what happens when your stepmother suddenly vanishes after you've also lost your birth mother to death.

Stephanie is the one who is selfish here, and Everett isn't the man she thinks he is, either. That coma story makes no sense and may not even be true, and that ring he claimed was Stephanie's looked like the one Jada was wearing in her photo of getting engaged to Everett.

Incidentally, Jada's ex turning out to be Everett was portrayed as this shocking twist, but it also was in the Days of Our Lives spoiler video for the week of 12-04-23 and the winter spoiler video, ruining the surprise.

If Stephanie finds out Everett was a two-timing scumbag the whole time, will she dump him and beg Chad to take her back? Or will she decide it doesn't matter as long as Everett marries her?

Her goal appears to be to get married, so does it matter to her who she ends up with as long as they put that ring on her finger?

Across town, Holly engaged in more delusional nonsense about how she'll steal Johnny from Chanel, and Tate again let her manipulate him into helping.

I'm all for a love triangle that leaves me torn, but Days of Our Lives has not written one in a while, and this one is the stupidest.

Holly is underage, and Johnny is an adult, so they couldn't be together even if she managed to wrangle him away from Chanel.

Johnny and Chanel have dealt with more than enough interlopers. The Devil, Allie, and Wendy all interfered with their ability to be together. They deserve their happy-for-now ending --- let them enjoy each other's company instead of rushing into another problem.

I'm losing respect for Tate with this, too. He's so desperate for Holly's friendship that he'll do anything she asks to keep it. I don't know where he draws the line -- if she asked him to kill Chanel (which hopefully she won't!), would he do that too?

Finally, we had a trifecta of uninteresting couples. Harris and Ava had their first date, Rafe suggested Jada move in, and Tripp welcomed Wendy home.

Wendy used to be a dynamic, exciting character, and her grief over Li's death is well done, but every time she and Tripp are in the same room, it puts me to sleep.

Harris and Ava aren't much better, plus this stupid Clyde blackmail nonsense mars their storyline. I'm glad that the writers at least remembered that Stefan and Ava are mobsters; working together to eliminate Clyde makes more sense than letting him blackmail them.

Still, all this story will accomplish is Harris learning that Ava is engaged in illegal activity and throwing her to the curb. Is this alliance with Stefan a test of whether they'd make a good couple (assuming Gabi is not recast)?

As for Rafe and Jada, the only interesting thing about them is that Jada was once married to Everett.

Rafe keeps jumping into bed with people and marrying them only for them to cheat on him, so I'm not terribly interested in his and Jada's pillow talk otherwise.

Your turn, Days of Our Lives fanatics. Hit the big, blue SHOW COMMENTS button and sound off about what you loved, hated, or couldn't care less about on this week's Days of Our Lives.

For more Salem chat, check back on Sunday for the latest Days of Our Lives Round Table discussion.

Days of Our Lives streams exclusively on Peacock. New episodes drop on weekday mornings at 6/5c.

Jack Ori is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. His debut young adult novel, Reinventing Hannah, is available on Amazon. Follow him on X.