The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXBart Simpson Quotes
I'll get one those jobs where you don't need to read. Like french fry maker or general.
Developer: I have twins I've never met.
Bart: When you meet them tell them your game is too easy.
Bart: To sweeten the deal, I'll pick you first for basketball.
Martin: To be a mathlete without the 'm.'
Milhouse: I need that [cootie] shot, my dog and I accidentally touched tongues.
Bart: How is this accidentally when it's the fifth time?
Traitor. How dare you betray me on me on the planet that got me laid?
Marge: I take your sugary sweets and give you healthy items...
Bart: This is exactly why kids need a union.
I thought teachers only went outside to smoke and cry.
Same garbage, different dumpster.
Bart: If fairytales have taught us anything, first wives are the best and second wives are terrible.
Homer: Just the opposite of real life.
The last place anyone would expect to see a moon - the sky.
It's one of those unsolved mysteries, like how do my clothes get cleaned and get back in my dresser?
Lisa: You're gonna regret the day you were born.
Bart: I already do, it's too close to Christmas.
