The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Bernadette Quotes
Jessie: You're back.
Bernadette: Yes I am. There are a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine, and he's a much nicer person than you are, and if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jessie: No problem. You want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
Jessie: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well that sounds even better.
I'm too small for Twister. And, roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.
Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Sheldon: Penny.
Penny: Huh?
Sheldon: Leonard.
Leonard: PS4.
Sheldon: Wolowitz.
Howard: Both great.
Sheldon: Bernadette.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma
Bernadette: Well, what if Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer.
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor. Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy and he picks up a girl and then we all leave together. Did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?
Howard: So, this one's on God.
Bernadette: That might be a little more convincing if you didn't have a mouth full of bacon cheeseburger.
Howard: My religion's kinda loosey-goosy. Basically, as long as you have your schmekel clipped and don't wear a cross, you're good.
Bernadette: Everyone of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
Penny: Unless you want to be Cinderella.
Bernadette: Come at me. See what happens.
Bernadette: Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
Penny: Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend; she has a Sheldon.
Howard: You're full of estrogen and you don't act like that.
Bernadette: That's 'cause I'm a woman. I've had years of practice riding the dragon.
I can't do this anymore. I'm a good girl! I went to Catholic School!
And just to be safe, when you talk to him, don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control, organic food, the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.
Howard: I got pretty exciting NASA news today. Next week I fly to Houston for orientation and zero-gravity elimination drills.
Penny: What does that mean?
Bernadette: He's gonna to learn to poop in space.
Howard: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
Raj: Maybe your nickname should be "Brown Dynamite."
Bernadette: Who's Siri? Is he dating someone new?
Howard: Yes. His phone.
Bernadette: Is that cute? Or, creepy?
