Howard: Son of a bitch, she's gone.
Bernadette: Where'd she go?
Howard: I don't know. She didn't leave a note.
Bernadette: You were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller!
Howard: No, I wasn't! You were!
Bernadette: No, I wasn't!
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Well, you throw like a girl.
Howard: It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these stairs.
Bernadette: Yeah, try doing it in heels.
Howard: I am.
I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. I know the little cups make you feel big but it's not worth it.
Bernadette: Sheldon, I've been cooking all day.
Sheldon: Well ... now don't you feel silly.
Bernadette [to Howard]: Show him the closet
Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell what to do or you can tell me how to do it, but you can't do both. This isn't sex.
Bernadette: Everyone of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
Penny: Unless you want to be Cinderella.
Bernadette: Come at me. See what happens.
Bernadette: We can't all be Cinderella.
Amy: Then, how do we decide?
Bernadette: Well, it's simple. This was my idea. I'm driving. I'm Cinderella. You bitches got a problem with that we can stop the car right now.
It smells pretty ripe in here. You kinda feel it in your eyes.
Sorry doesn't clean my underpants, buddy.
If you like pushing buttons so much, try pushing them on the washing machine.
Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.
Bernadette: No, here's how love works. You're gonna return the machine or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those.
Bernadette: Oh, my God! Are you actually thinking about it?