Blair Waldorf Quotes
Eleanor: Are you all right?
Blair: Never been better.
Eleanor: Well, Serena has. What's wrong?
Blair: I don't know. I can't be held responsible for her mood swings.
Eleanor: Were you arguing about the possibility that your condition may have returned.
Blair: No. It hasn't.
Eleanor: I heard you the other day in your bathroom with the water running.
Blair: I'm very stressed. And with you and Serena down my throat I can hardly see straight, never mind keep food down.
I'm not pregnant. I command myself to not be pregnant.
Who knew B and C were such patrons of the arts? Call it philanthropy or bribery, it looks like everyone has their price.
Gossip Girl
You are so naive. Michael Moore over there is obviously just using this film to get close to Dan.
I'm innocent. Well, except for a crime of passion. I did something stupid with someone and even worse than doing that stupid thing I did the same stupid thing with someone else and pretended I'd never done that stupid thing before. You look confused... should I walk you through it?
Blair: Isn't there someone else you can torture?
Chuck: Probably, but I choose you.
Blair: Enough with the blackmail, aren't you bored already? I can't avoid Nate forever.
Chuck: I didn't say forever, just until the sight of you two together doesn't turn my stomach.
Blair: And when will that be?
Chuck: Only time will tell, I'm afraid. So unless you want dear Nathaniel to know how you lost your virginity to me in the back of a moving vehicle, I encourage patience and restraint.
Blair: You know what? I'm tired of this. Go ahead and tell him.
Chuck: Really? You want me to tell him how you slept with me and then faked your virginity for him?
Blair: I'll just tell him your lying. And you do you think he'll believe? You who bangs anything in his field of vision. Or me, his pure and honest girlfriend of many years.
Chuck: I know he'll believe me.
Blair: Why?
Chuck: I have proof.
Blair: Hey, let go of me, Bass!
Chuck: Drop your Archibald habit first.
Blair: You know I already have.
Chuck: Really? A kiss does sort of send the wrong signal. Let's not waste time denying.
You have no idea who you're dealing with.
Blair: So what did you do with Chuck's money, anyway?
Vanessa: I may have started a grant for teenagers with genital herpes. In his name.
Blair: A real Waldorf Christmas eve. Eleanor drew the line at Christmas day. That's only for me, her, and Dorota.
Serena: Well, it's still a couple days with your dad.
Blair: No, it'll be more than just a couple of days. I'm going to convince him to stay in New York.
Serena: What about Paris and Roman?
Blair: Roman is a phase. My father belongs here with me. He only left New York to ride out the scandal. It's time to come home, don't you think? Hey, did you want to ask me something?
Serena: Yes! A gift idea for Dan, now that Vanessa brought him the most thoughtful Dan-like present ever.
Blair: Why don't you just buy a new outfit for Cedric and call it a day?
Serena: Thank you! For being totally not helpful, at all. See you tomorrow night.
Blair: Bye!
