South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralButters Stotch Quotes
Sister Anne: Now, let me explain how Communion works. The priest will give you this round cracker, and he will say, "The Body of Christ," and then you eat it.
Cartman: Jesus was made of crackers?
Sister Anne: No.
Stan: But crackers are his body.
Sister Anne: Yes.
Kenny: What?!
Sister Anne: In the Book of Mark, Jesus distributed bread and said, "eat this, for it is my body."
Cartman: So we won't go to hell as long as we eat crackers.
Sister Anne: Nononono!
Butters: Uh-well, uh-what are we eatin' then?
Sister Anne: The Body of Christ!
Stan: Nonono, I get it. Jesus wanted us to eat him, but he didn't want us to be cannibals, so he turned himself into crackers, and then told people to eat him.
Sister Anne: No!
Stan: No??
Butters: Huh-I can't whistle if I eat too many crackers.
Sister Anne: Look: all you have to know is that when the priest gives you the cracker, you eat it! Okay?!
Kenny, Stan, Cartman: O-kay.
Get Well Soon, Kyle Song:
Butters: (singing) We're so sorry you're not feeling well.
We hope you're better soon.
So we're bringing you some sunshine
By, um, singing you this tune:
Everybody misses you
And though we hate to cause a fuss
We'd like to say, "Get well soon!"
And "Please don't die on us."
(Kenny comes through with Timmy and Butters)
Stan:This is it? This is everyone that wanted to help Kyle?
Butters: Well Clyde was gonna come too, but h-he said his mom was making tacos for dinner and Clyde likes tacos a whole lot.
Well, my skin is springtime fresh, I suppose.
Cartman: Those perverts aren't going to rest until they have made love to one of us right? So somebody's just gonna have to go out there and take one for the team. And I think in all fairness it should be Butters.
Butters: Huh? Now why me?
Cartman: Are you a team player or not?
Butters: Well sure, I'm a team player I guess.
Cartman: Now Butters, there is no 'i' in team.
Butters: You mean to expect me to go out there and let all those horny old men have their way with my fragile person? Well just what team is this anyway?
Cartman: Just go Butters, we're running out of time.
Butters: Oh, alright then. (Butters leaves the room)
Cartman: (Laughs) He's such a dumbass.
Kyle: We won! We won!
Butters: Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.
You should stop being such a smart-mouthed, Mr. Know-It-All!
Mark: Now look at her she's a damn whore papa.
Butters: Damn right.
Stan: But you know, I learned something today. I used to call you guys 'Melvins,' but you're just kids, like me. We separate you in school because you talk different, or you study too hard, but we've proven tonight that we can all get along.
Butters: So you mean we can stay friends, Stan? Wouldn't that be swell, huh?
Kyle: (Walks up) Dude, I'm glad to see you. You would not believe the night I had.
Stan: You? You think you had a bad night; I had to hang out all night with these freaking Melvins!
Stan: There are no more missions. I have everything I want.
Butters: But we're angels? What are angels supposed to do without missions?
Stan: Just play something else!
Pip: Oh dear! We've angered Bosley!
How come they're actin' that way, Stan? Huh? How come they're laughin' and falling down and such?
Pip: Can I be Jaclyn Smith? Can I?
Butters: No, uh, I get to be Jaclyn Smith. See, I thought of Charlie's Angels and I get to be Jaclyn Smith c-cause I thought of it.
