Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXCleveland Brown Quotes
Grab that letter opener over there. I'm going to show you why you should never mail cash.
I'd be happy to get you an interview. And as a white woman, you'd be the minority here. Unless you're an alcoholic.
Oh, yeah. Black guys put hot sauce on everything on account most of us have been pepper-sprayed by the time we're two.
Giggity.
You want the media to go away? Just mention black on black crime.
I love putting my hands down my pants when I'm on drugs.
Whew, I was damn near out of tweed.
Your kid's got a walk in closet?! Two of mine gotta sleep in the car!
That's the Riddler. He would make inquiries to set your mind a-jumble.
[when he has an orgasm with Carolyn] Wait. Wait! Wait!! OHHHH!!! And boom goes the dynamite.
Peter: Cleveland?
Cleveland: Hey fellas.
Peter: Holy crap! Who knew we'd run into you, except everyone cause FOX ruined it in the promos.
Joe: (about Peter's parrot) Hey Peter you kinda look like a pirate with that thing on your shoulder.
Peter: A pirate? Oh cool!
Cleveland: You should get a pirate name.
Joe: And a peg leg.
Cleveland: And a hook hand.
Quagmire: And you should have sex with that crossing guard even though she looked young, and then I found out she was 12.
(everyone stares at him)
Quagmire: I mean you should get an eye patch.
Joe: Eye patch would be cool.