Dan Humphrey Quotes
Blair: I had a horrible fight with my mother. I tried to be Indra Nooyi. And while I admit that choice might have been a bit random, the other choice was to be my mother. And I didn't want that.
Dan: Why not? You care about fashion more than most people care about, ah, well, anything. you used to send girls home crying from Constance for wearing tights as pants.
Blair: Well, somebody had to. It was for the greater good. Just like my suggestion that you take off that tie and shove it in your pocket right now.
Dan: You're an evil dictator of taste, Blair. Why deny that just because it's what your mother does? And by the way, this tie was my grandfather's.
Blair: If only he'd been buried in it.
Dan: Hey, what are we doing here?
Serena: Just, one more minute.
Dan: No. No more minutes.
Lily: Dan. This party doesn't seem like your speed.
Dan: Are you kidding. There are actually beers behind the bar I can pronounce.
Blair: I told you that it was just one movie on one lonely holiday break. That's it.
Dan: No, I'm here to see Serena.
Blair: Oh. Well. She's not here to see you. Shocker.
Dan: Where is she?
Blair: Ah, she's off scheming with Chuck. Disguises are involved. It can't end well.
Blair: What are you doing here?
Dan: Hello to you too.
Dan: Crazy question, but why isn't Ben just going after Lily himself?
Serena: Because he knows she'll go to the cops and tell them what Juliet did to me.
Dan: Oh, you mean kidnap and drug you?
Dan: I'm sorry. I know you were hoping for some closure.
Serena: Well my mom's deviousness is the gift that keeps on giving, so for now at least the past still lingers.
Serena: So, how was your break? What did you do?
Dan: Why, what'd you hear?
First, my dad swapped a '69 Les Paul for this car, and it's a collector's item. And second it was either this or the Lincoln Hawk van which, all I'm saying, has graphics.
Dan: That's your plan? Disguises and accents?
Blair: I never said anything about accents ... Can you do any?
Blair: What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be off living your dream? Days on end in a real car with Serena?
Dan: No. I'm staying here. So actually I'll be living out my nightmare. Trapped in the city with only Blair Waldorf to talk to.
Dan: See I told you. Food is more delicious when you cook it yourself.
Nate: Yup. That's why we're going to end this experiment in middle class living and then call the housekeeper to clean up.
Blair: No way! I stuck my hand up a turkey's butt. You're not getting out of your job.
