Dan Humphrey Quotes
Blair: Look, I think I figured it out. Okay, Serena had an affair with her teacher because, let's face it, it's Serena and what else is there to do in Connecticut. Then she came to her senses and discarded him like last season's Chanel booties. Then he became a crazy stalker and Serena pressed charges. That should be a warning to you, Humphrey.
Dan: Yeah, because the parallels are striking.
Blair: Is the pedal to the metal? Because I swear if I shove my feet through the floor I could run faster. At least there's no radio so I'm spared your horrid taste in music. I think we were supposed to turn there.
Dan: You know I'd tell you to stop being such a back seat driver but how can you be one when you don't even know how to drive.
Blair: I offered to get us a car service. Professional driver, comfortable seats, champagne!
Dan: We're on a mission here.
Dan: So. Juliet dressed up like Serena at Saints & Sinners to destroy her relationships with me and Nate.
Blair: And enlist Vanessa and Jenny to mess with me.
Dan: Which is devious and pathetic, but let's face it, around here it's just another Saturday night.
Dan: Aren't I about the last person you want helping you?
Blair: You love Serena, don't you? So. We have something in common. So what do you say we find the bitch and get us some frontier justice.
Dan: You committed her because you don't want to deal with her. You don't even want to talk to her. Why?
Lily: Well maybe I'm afraid of what she might say. Maybe... what she did was a cry for help and I'm the only one that didn't hear it.
Dan: Well I... I don't know. But if that is the case you should know, and if it's not then we really should find out what happened. But regardless the only way to find out is to sit and talk.
Dan: With all due respect, maybe I am only seeing the good in Serena, but I'm at least I'm looking at her and not at myself.
Lily: What is that supposed to mean?
Come on. I bust you out of the loony bin and you're going to mock my choice of transportation. We're fugitives, alright? We're taking the bus.
Here's a crazy suggestion, why don't we ask Serena, see what she wants.
Dan: Where is she? Is she alright? What happened?
Blair: She overdosed in some cheap motel in Queens. Alone. Why didn't she come to me? I mean no matter how angry we were at each other she knows ... I don't know what I would do if anything happened to her.
Dan: Don't think this means I've been calling out your name in my sleep.
Nate: I haven't been writing Mrs. Dan Humphrey in my notebook.
Hey Serena, it's me. I saw your thing in The Post. Just wanted you to know that Brooklyn is a great place to avoid nasty looks. Unless you throw your recycling in the regular trash or try to open a chain store with questionable labor practices.
Serena: How do you feel about ballet?
Dan: Watching or performing?
