Drew: Strawberry frosting, nice?
Denise: Hey you got fruit, dairy, enough sugar for a month. What else do you need?
Drew: A spoon?
Denise: Use your fingers, Queen Elizabeth.

Denise: I need your help. I have a patient that had to pee on a ski lift so she pulled her pants down and her butt froze to the seat and when she got off she lost most of the skin on her ass.
Drew: What's the question?
Denise: Can I laugh at that?
Drew: That depends, is she within ear shot?
Denise: No.
Drew: That's funny. No butt skin.
Denise: I lied, she's right behind you.

J.D.: Denise brought some non-alcholic beer.
Denise: Yeah, I got it for this dude I'm railing, he used to be an alky.
Drew: Not an appropriate time to bring all that up, but there it is.
Cole: And I brought some sensual body chocolate. What's the situation with the big old D's? Got any milk yet?

Cox: I mean around here, you just can't let your work and personal life overlap.
Denise: Yeah, that was always Ally McBeal's problem too. It's so hard being a working woman in the 90s.

Lucy: Denise, that was girl talk. You have broken a sacred bond between sisters.
Denise: Oh no, now I'm not gonna be able to wear the traveling pants this week. Look, I know that you have daddy slash food slash body slash horse issues. But Cole? Really?

Drew, if I wanted to be with a girl, I could. Save all the emotional crap for your diary.

Elliot: You need my pregnancy boobs for this one. If I could give up five years to keep these bad boys I would. As long as I had a guarantee I'd live into my eighties.
Denise: Yeah, you should bring that up to God when he grants you your magic boobs.
Elliot: Only in my head it wasn't God, it was a genie.

Denise: Hey work buddy.
Turk: Hey.
Denise: You have a sec?
Turk: Sure, what do you want to do? Want to play hide the saltine? Make a giant black doctor? Damn, those never sounded dirty with J.D.
Denise: Yeah, they did.

Denise: So, you and me. We're gonna have a stupid jar. Everytime you say something stupid, we're gonna put a nickel in that jar and when it gets nice and full, we're going to beat you with it.
Cole: Dude, how much fun is she in the sack?
Drew: More scary than fun.

Denise: I'm sorry, white bread, I'm not really looking for a protegé slash suckup.
Lucy: Dr. Mahoney, I am not sucking up! If I were sucking up, I would tell you how much I like your shoes... which I do, by the way! They're mannish, but flirty, like, "Hey boys, come and watch me build a deck."

Lucy: Thanks for making Cole come back.
Denise: I didn't tell him to come back. I hate talking to that guy, it adds an extra shower to my day.

Denise: Is there anyway you can change your entire personality?
Cole: I can try.
Denise: Even the way you said that annoyed me.

Scrubs Quotes

Jordan: All right, I will see you at home in about an hour. Remember to keep him warm, support his head, check his diaper every fifteen minutes; no bouncing around, no loud noise, no TV, no poking the soft spot. And, Perry, you're the only one in my life that I actually have to say this to: Do not yell at, demean, insult, criticize, humiliate, or mock the baby.
Dr. Cox: What are you talking about?
[Jack starts crying]
Dr. Cox: Waaaah!

Laverne: I need to see you in Mr. Bursky's room.
J.D.: Are you flirting with me? You are, aren't you!