Dr. Gregory House Quotes
House: I'm in an elevator, can't run away.
Dr. Cuddy: Can't run away anyway.
House: That's just mean. Why are we still together?
Dr. Cuddy: We are going to our office.
House: Pronoun confusion. Starts kicking in once you pass child-bearing age.
Dr. Cuddy: Now that's just mean.
Dr. Cuddy: Any idea why we are getting half as many requests for you as usual?
House: Democrats' health care plan?
Why don't you hang out in the video store and tell everyone Kevin Spacey's Keyser Soze?
Dr. Cuddy: You faked a scientific miracle just to win a bet with Wilson?
House: Mmm, more an argument. I realize it would have been simpler to just fake the paternity test, but hey--Christmas spirit and all that.
Dr. Cuddy: I think you're confusing nice and evil again.
Anna: Jerk.
Dr. Cuddy: Uh, what was that all about?
House: Jamaican chicken recipes.
Whitney: We do other stuff in bed. Couldn't some of his sperm have made it up there somehow?
House: More likely, it came from the guy whose penis made it up there somehow, but... sure, anything's possible.
House: If I wanted gifts, I would just look deep into my patients' eyes and act like you. "Oh, I'm so sorry you're dying, Mrs. Moron. Of course I'll sleep with you. What I lack in skill, I can make up for in..."
Dr. Wilson: You'd just wind up insulting her. Perhaps calling her "Mrs. Moron."
House: I got Mark's latest blood work, he's not responding to treatment.
Dr. Wilson: I'm sorry.
House: I was happy. He's my patient. I'm sure he's a good guy, he's probably a great guy. Probably a much better guy than I am. And some part of me wants him to die. I'm just not sure if it's because I want to be with her or if it's because I want her to suffer.
House: I diagnosed him, I did my job. You want somebody to tie him down and force him into treatment, well, you're way better at that than I am.
Stacy: Is that what this is? Payback for your leg? How many times have we been over this; I saved your life.
The truth of the human condition is that everyone lies. The only variable is about what.
Stacy: God, you're an idiot.
House: I think I'm more of a jerk.
House: So I should help (Stacy) because she hates me?
Dr. Wilson: She doesn't hate you. She loves you. She just... can't stand to be around you
