South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralEric Cartman Quotes
(to Wendy) Whoa! Calm down hoe.
Kyle: Cartman doesn't always win. He just gets pissed off and goes home, so we can't debate anymore.
Class: Yeah!
Cartman: Nuh-uh, I'm just a better debater than you guys.
Stan: You don't even know what you're debating about half the time!
Cartman: Yes I do!
Craig: No, you don't!
Cartman: OH YEAH?!! WELL SCREW YOU GUYS! I'M GOING HOME!
Kyle: Told you.
(Stan and Kyle are at Cartman's house convincing Cartman to donate one of his kidney's to Kyle)
Stan: Dude, one of your friends are gonna die! Don't you see how serious this is?
Kenny(muffles): It's not that f**king serious!
Kyle: Coughs twice
Cartman: Well, perhaps I can see a way for giving up kidney for a price!
Stan: Oh my god!
Kyle: How much?
Cartman: I don't know, how much is your life worth to you, Kyle?
Stan: Cartman, you are SO going to hell when you die!
Cartman: Yes, well until then. I need about $10 million dollars.
Kenny(muffles): $10 MILLION DOLLARS?!?!?
Stan: What the hell will you do with $10 million dollars, fat ass?
Cartman: What I attend to do with the money isn't an issue is it? I suggest you start looking for that money quickly, Kyle doesn't seem have much time. Tick Tock Tick Tock.
Stan: C'mon Kyle! Let's get out of here!
Cartman: Ok, where were we Kenny? Oh yeah! Quick, Captain, we must destroy the engine of agent 5! Give me the space cruiser!
Cartman starts to grab the Space Cruiser out of Kenny's hands. Kenny starts to tug it back to him
Cartman: Give it Kenny meeh!
Mr. Wyland: (speaking to Cartman) Kenny, you come and decorate the get-well card too.
Cartman: But I don't want Kyle to get well, I hate Kyle.
Stan: Cartman, could you donate one of your kidneys to Kyle?
Cartman: (About a millisecond after Stan finishes; singing and dancing) No no no no no, no no no no no, no no no no no no no, no no no no no!
(speaking in his dream) HIPPIES, HIII-PPIIIES ALL AROUND ME they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad!
Oh good, you got the crappy kidney.
Stan: You suck Cartman!
Cartman: Maybe so, but at least I was smart enough to a wear Kidney Blocker 2000!
SHUT UP FLUFFY!
Don't get too close to Kyle; it looks like he might have the AIDS.
Mrs. Cartman
Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya. Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya . I got into NAMBLA and you guys didn't. Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya.
Clown hat, curly hair, smiley face.
