Hehehe, the brain is so stupid.

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. But as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.

Carl: Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's?
Homer: It's not even noon.
Carl: Yeah, I got a watch, egghead.

My head hairs! I'm bald!

Just call me Borders Books cause I'll always be here.

Hey those Yelp reviews don't write themselves. Did you know a well-placed one-star could destroy a "Mom and Pop" hardware in nothing flat?

And I'm 69 because people always laugh when you say "69." Hehe, no one knows why.

Sorry, Carl, it's WWII all over again. America kicks Iceland's ass.

Oh, I've been listening to this song for three days, and it's only the end of the first verse.

I'm not sure man who eats right and doesn't drink can be good in bed.

Bart: You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52
Homer: They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.
Bart: More like The Expandables.

The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

</i> Abe