Popular Homer Simpson Quotes
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!
Homer: Marge, try to understand. There are two kinds of college students: jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.
Homer: Alright brain. You don't like me and I don't like you. But let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer
Homer's Brain: It's a deal.
(Homer tries to retrieve the angry letter that Bart accidentally put in the mail.)
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
P.O. Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I...don't know.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
(reading his poem)
There once was a rapping tomato,
That's right I said rapping tomato,
He rapped all day from April to May,
And also guess what, it was me.
Homer: Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: "Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells." Now let's go back to that...building...thingy...where our beds and TV...is.
Bart: Moe, look over there! (as a distraction)
Moe: What? What am I looking at? I don't see nothing. I'm gonna stop looking soon What? What, is that it?
Homer walks into Moe's Tavern
Homer: Hey Moe, can I look, too?
Moe: Sure, but it'll cost ya.
Homer: My wallet's in the car.
Homer runs out
Moe: He is so stupid. And now back to the wall.
British Fonzie is right.
Lisa: Dad, I'm making the Chiefs my 5 star silver bullet special. And with your blessing, I'd like to tie it to the Cowboys, plus 5 in Chicago.
Homer: Good, Good. You Call Moe.
Lisa: (Dials phone) Hello, Moe? It's L.S. calling for H.S--
Moe: Just give me the numbers Lisa.
Homer: Now, Lisa, I know you miss your whale, so I got you a pet that will never die: An invisible dog.