The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
(lost in the corn maze)
Marge: Maybe we should split up.
Homer: Split up? Marge, no, we can fix this marriage!
Marge: No, no, I didn't mean--
Homer: Fine, you want out? Then go, I can make it on my own! Before I met you, I had friends and dreams!
Marge: I was talking about--
Homer: Oh, please take me back! (sobbing) The dating scene is a nightmare! I'm begging you!
Marge: I just meant we should split up to get out of this corn maze.
Homer: Deep down, I-- I guess I knew that.
Marge: Now, there must be a way out.
Homer: Of our marriage? I don't want to live! (runs off screaming)
Marge: (grumbles)
Homer: (offscreen) Hey, this maze is made of corn.
(To Man, Gasping) You stuffed your horn?
Homer: There sure is a lot of corn in this parking lot.
Lisa: Dad, we're in the MAZE!
D'oh! Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?
Homer: Burns stiffed us!
Moe: I can't believe he acted completely in character!
Firefighter: You've horribly injured the whole fire department!
Homer: Who are you, a travel agent? 'Cause you're sending me on a guilt trip!
Firefighter: Sorry.
(Dazed) Zombie montage.
Homer: I can't wait for my first fire. Is that one?
Lisa: That's just someone barbecuing.
Homer: Is that one?
Bart: That's a guy with red hair.
Marge: Just come back alive, okay?
Homer: Don't tell me how to do my job!
Oh, I have 3 kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and 3 money!?
Look at me, guys! I'm stealing five Segways at once. And speaking of segue ways, I'm off to my next morally questionable activity.
Rod: But users are losers!
Homer: You're confusing drugs with druuuuuuugs!
