The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
Homer: Oh, you beautiful man!
Flanders: That feeling is mutual of Omaha.
Homer: God, you're hilarious!
This is late for Marge. I assume. I've never been home at this hour.
Marge: Why do you have to eat have to eat peanuts in the shower?
Homer: It gives me the fresh circus feeling in the morning.
Apu sang a song, what are you gonna do?
Homer: I'm sorry Lisa, but I won't live under the same roof as a member of the liberal media!
Lisa: You'll have to excuse him, he's been watching a lot of Fox News.
Homer: Did you know that every day Mexican gays sneak into this country and unplug our brain-dead ladies?
Homer: Hey suckers, check it out! Marge is taking me to ride dirt bikes at the cemetery.
Lisa: You're going to the dentist too, Dad.
Homer: (Thoughtfully) Why the cemetery? I wondered. But my dreams were too strong.
Marge: (to Homer) We have to take in Mr. Brockman. He wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't dumped coffee on his lap.
Homer: Oh, sure! Put down a simple guy like me who works hard and plays by the rules!
Bart: Dad, you barely go to work at all.
Lisa: And you're constantly flouting the law.
Homer: I'm willing to change my mind and that makes me great.
Homer: Marge, the couch is lumpy!
Kent: That's because you're sitting on me, you lummox!
(At the dentist)
Homer: Aaaah! It hurts so much!
Dental Hygienist: I haven't even started yet!
Homer: I know, but a breeze from that window went in my mouth!
Milhouse: Mr. Simpson I'm scared.
Homer: This is our life now Milhouse, we're dumpster folk!
Homer: (To Milhouse) Cops. Act natural.
Homer (Imitating a woman) Oh hello officer!
Chief Wiggum: (While driving by) Oh hello, Ma'am! (To self) What is it about a women and a dumpster.
(Homer picks up the bomb which has 7 seconds left till it blows)
Homer: Oh a thermos! And it has 7 cups of coffee left.
(The bomb changes to 6)
Homer: No wait, 6.
Lisa: Dad! That's a bomb!
Homer: Ah! You take it!
