I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister

Wolowitz: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And as a side note, they are one of the few animals whose scrotum is on the front of the penis.
Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about.

Raj: In Avatar, when they have sex on pandora they hook up their ponytails, so we know that their ponytails are like their junk.
Wolowitz: Yeah, so?
Raj: So when they ride horses and fly on the birds, they also use their ponytails...
Wolowitz: What's your point?
Raj: My point is if I were a horse or a bird, I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.

Wolowitz: You love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother. My feelings for my spot are much greater. It is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe. And now it's yours.

Howard: Tell her I'm really sorry. And if she doesn't want to marry me, I get it. But what I really want her to know is the guy that she is really disgusted by is the guy that I'm disgusted by, too. But, that guy doesn't exist anymore; he's gone. And the reason is because of her. So, if this relationship is over, let her know that she made me a better man, and tell her thank you.
Penny: Oh my god, Howard! That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And it came out of you.

Wolowitz: Sheldon. You remember the first few weeks; we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Wolowitz: That's why I added the "tator"

Wolowitz [about his phone call]: Looks like I'm going to have sex tonight
Penny: His right hand is calling him?

Raj: Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
Howard: I'm pushing play. I mean it. If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.

But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.

Raj: Missy, do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Raj: We Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Wolowitz: Yeah, well, my people invented circumcision

Howard: Let me try gangsta: Hells naw.

Oh look! It's Leonard and R2-D-bag.

TBBT Quotes

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?