Jess: I just want to say I'm honored you're trusting me.
Schmidt: Oh, I'm not.

• Permalink: Oh, I'm not.
• Rating: Unrated

Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.

• Permalink: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.
• Rating: Unrated

Is this change of plans an overreaction to something?

• Permalink: Is this change of plans an overreaction to something?
• Rating: Unrated

I said chill day in, but did I mean it?

• Permalink: I said chill day in, but did I mean it?
• Rating: Unrated

Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.

• Permalink: Welcome to your bachelorette party 2.0.
• Rating: Unrated

It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.

• Permalink: It's like my hearing is what a dog hears.
• Rating: Unrated

I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

• Permalink: I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.
• Rating: Unrated

I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?

• Permalink: I know you're not a stripper, but is there any way you can take your short pants off?
• Rating: Unrated

Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?

• Permalink: Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?
• Rating: Unrated

What is this? The last night of drama camp?

• Permalink: What is this? The last night of drama camp?
• Rating: Unrated

Everyone has had sex in my room!

• Permalink: Everyone has had sex in my room!
• Rating: Unrated

Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.

• Permalink: Yeah, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get in that guys pants.
• Rating: Unrated