Laverne Roberts Quotes
I was gonna be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
Elliot: Seriously, if you tell, I will never trust you again with anything.
Dr. Kelso: Where've you been?
Carla: Nowhere!
Dr. Mickhead: What're you doing?
Carla: Nothing!
Janitor: How's Blonde Doctor?
Carla: Cheese!
Laverne: What's the dish?
Carla: I gotta go!
Turk: Hey!
Carla: No hablo Ingls!
Carla: So, Jordan, I heard Sam got you. Don't worry, he totally suckered me once.
Laverne: When I first started, I lent my car to a patient to go pick up her kids? Last time I ever saw that hotrod.
Laverne: Has anybody seen Johnny, the tackling Alzheimer's patient?
J.D.: Hey! You must be Keith.
Keith: Uh, heh.
J.D.: Don't look so nervous, buddy. I got your back.
Johnny: (Tackling J.D.) WHO AM I?!
J.D.: Whaaaagggghhh!
Laverne: I found him.
Junior? Have you seen Johnny? You know, Alzheimer's patient, likes to tackle people?
Nurse: Someone stole a whole case of laxatives from the supply closet.
Laverne: Don't look at me - I'm as regular as rain.
Laverne: Dr. Kelso! I didn't recognize you in scrubs.
Dr. Kelso: That's okay Laverne, I didn't recognize you without your mini TV and your feet up.
Junior, I don't know what you doin' in my area, but you better be lookin' for some bandages 'cause you're gonna need them when I get through with you.
Nell: Why am I paying you to tell me things I've already figured out on my own?
Dr. Kelso: Maybe because I graduated first in my class at Stanford in 1972?
Nell: [reads her cell phone display] You graduated twelfth in your class in 1968. [shows him the display]
Laverne: She googled your ass.
Dr. Kelso: Laverne, I am not interested in your street lingo. What I am interested in is where she found that magic phone that keeps making me look like an idiot!
Laverne: You have ONE DAY to get us another gorgeous irishman.
Todd: ONE DAY. (weird looks from JD and Turk) What? The Todd appreciates hot, regardless of gender.
Turk: Well, Elliot, you don't look too banged up about it - you got your arm around Carla.
Elliot: My hand is stuck in this rat's nest that she calls hair!
Carla: Dye job!
Laverne: Got it! But, Chopstick, you're gonna have to buy a new watch. And Carla, you may wanna borrow some of my spray-on hair.
Laverne: Honey bear! You look blue. Have a cookie.
Carla: Nah-ah-ah, Laverne. No more jackin' up my man's blood sugar just so you can buy yourself a camper.
Turk: So this is all a big joke to you guys? 'Cause this is my life, and I don't think it's funny.
Laverne: Now I gotta try to get back in on that craps game in the basement.
