Lynette Scavo Quotes
Tom: What was that?!
Lynette: What was what?
Tom: You were bracing! You were bracing with your leg! I was trying to lay on top of you and you were bracing yourself against the mattress so you don't have to get on your back!
Tom: You're saying that our clients deserve more effort than your own family?
Lynette: OK! So if I apologize for upsetting you at work can we get past it and enjoy our meal?
Tom: Absolutely.
Lynette: I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I am sorry.
Tom: Thanks.
Lynette: So boys, how do you enjoy the meal?
Preston: It's a little salty...
Lynette: Just eat it!
Susan: I think I have to break up with Dr. Ron.
Lynette: What?! Why?!
Susan: Because he's a gem, and apparently he loves me.
Lynette: I'm sorry, I'm not following.
We will find someone. Someone who does not remember where they were when Lincoln was shot!
<I>Tom has asked Mrs. McCluskey to babysit the kids much to Lynette's chagrin</i> Lynette
Lynette: (to Tom) If you take this job, you are never allowed to bring up what happened before with your promotion.
Tom: That's it? Deal.
Lynette: No, it's not a deal, I need a solemn vow that you will never throw that in my face ever again, because if you do, you will unleash demons that you do not want to meet.
Tom: I get it.
Lynette: And what I really need from you is to be forgiven.
Tom: Actually, I already had.
Lynette: So, you're saying if I died, you would want a second wife, and a family?
Tom: Maybe...
Lynette: I can't believe you've actually thought about this!
Tom: Haven't you?
Lynette: Thought about who'd I'm marry if you died? Hmm.... NO!
Tom: It's a backup plan, I'm not going to use it!
Edie: (referring to Betty's friendliness) I don't trust friendly women.
Lynette: That's okay, they don't trust you either.
Lynette: It's not the Ebola virus, it's chicken pox! You are being a baby!
Tom: Yes, I am, and if you think I'm being a baby now, do I need to remind you what I'm like when I'm sick? Remember that time I had strep throat? We wound up in marriage counselling.
Lynette: I'll call the office.
Tom: Thanks, honey.
Tom: I'm serious, Lynette. I don't make the money around here anymore. I don't provide for you and the kids. And I wasn't gonna let them snip out the last thing that makes me a man. (referring to a vasectomy)
Lynette: Staying home and taking care of the kids doesn't make you less of a man. That's crazy.
Tom: You expect me to calm your irrational fears. I expect you to calm mine.
Lynette: You're you saying you're unhappy?
Tom: A little bit, yeah.
Lynette: Well, what we gonna do about that?
Tom: I don't know.
Lynette: Well, can't we just---?
Tom: No, Lynette. I don't know.
Lynette: Are you drunk?
Tom: I'm a hot guy living in a neighborhood of lonely ladies!
(Lynette comes home from the supermarket suspiscious of Tom and Gabrielle)
Tom: Did you get the bread?
Lynette: They were out.
Tom: Of bread?
(Susan has just finished questioning about the dead guy in the trunk)
Bree: How did it go?
Susan: Well, I told them everything I know, which wasn't much.
Gabrielle: So, we're thinking this is Paul?
Lynette: Well, he's our friendly neighborhood murderer!
