Lynette Scavo Quotes
Bree: Hello?
Gabrielle: Hi, there.
Mary Alice: I'm Mary Alice. This is Susan, uh, Lynette and Bree.
Susan: Welcome to the neighborhood.
Gabrielle: Well, I am Gabrielle Solis.
Lynette: Would it be better if we came back at another time?
Gabrielle: Oh! No, no. I was... just changing out of my sweaty clothes. I didn't realize moving was such great cardio.
Mary Alice: We all met Lynette Scavo the day she moved on to Wisteria Lane. We quickly decided she would be our friend. Mostly because we were afraid to have her as an enemy.
(Tom and Lynette are arguing loudly.)
Lynette: This is perfect because we need some impartial judgement. Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant, begged you and out of the goodness of your heart you agreed to a baby. Even though it might derail your career, you agreed to a baby. A baby, singular! Then, then you go in for an ultrasound and you hear two heartbeats, then and only then does your husband tell you that twins run in his family. So I ask you: do I not deserve to punish this man severely?
Susan: Well, I think that twins are genetically determined by the mother.
Lynette: What are you?! A scientist?!
Lynette:Hello?
Susan:was just here. I think you should call him.
Lynette:I can't. I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't.
Parker:Mom!
Lynette:Yeah. Hang on. I'll call you later. Okay, bye.
Lynette: Hi.
Tom: Hi.
Mary Alice: Hi, uh, we just wanted to come welcome you to the neighborhood.
Bree: Um, but we could come back later.
Lynette: Yeah. No, wait. Actually, wait. This is perfect. You know why? Because we need some impartial judges.
Tom: Lynette...
Lynette: Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant-- begged you--and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed, even though it might derail your career.
You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular.
Tom: Lynette, we've just met these people.
Bree: Um, we, uh, just came over to introduce ourselves, but we can, um, do that at another time.
Tom: No, wait. Please stay. It's okay. We're okay. We're okay, right? Honey, we don't wanna freak out the new neighbors.
Lynette: I'm sorry that you saw my panic attack. I won't let it happen again, especially since this is my last pregnancy.
Tom: Right. You're the boss. I'm just your love slave.
Susan/Mary Alice: Aw.
Lynette: Well, don't encourage him.
Tom: Honey, clearly, our new neighbors see that you have been gifted with a phenomenal husband.
Lynette: Guys? Could you come here for a second? We need to have a serious talk. Okay, we have had a great... vacation, but tomorrow we're going home, except we're not going to our home. We're gonna go stay with Grandma.
Porter: Is dad gonna be there?
Lynette: No, dad is not gonna be there, but he--he is gonna come and see you guys all the time. We are still
gonna be a family. It's just... we won't be living in the same place anymore. So...is there any questions you wanna ask me?
Porter: Can we go swimming now?
Lynette: Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant, begged you, and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed, even though it might derail your career. You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular.
Tom: Lynette, we've just met these people.
Lynette: Then, then you go in for an ultrasound, and you hear two heartbeats. Then, and only then, does your husband tell you that twins run in his family.
Tom: I didn't think it was that big a deal!
Lynette: Your family had eight sets of twins over three generations, not to mention your relatives in Kentucky with triplets! Triplets! So I ask you, do I not deserve to punish this man severely?
Susan: Well, actually, I think that twins are genetically determined by the mother.
Lynette: What are you, a scientist?
Susan: No. No, I write children's books.
Lynette: What if I see him with another woman?
Mrs. McCluskey: (takes Lynette's face in her hands) I own a gun...
Gabrielle: Susan. We've all been talking. We've decided that you and Julie should stay with Bree.
Susan: Oh, thanks, but that's okay. We'll stay in a motel.
Bree: Absolutely not. Just give me an hour or two to straighten up Andrew's room and then you can bring yourselves over.
Susan: I don't deserve friends like you.
Lynette: We're aware of that.
Lynette: Atlantic City?
Tom: Yeah, it's last minute, but Jerry got a great deal on a suite at one of the casinos and a bunch of the old gang is coming in from New York and, god, it's been forever since I have been so, how could I turn that down?
Lynette: Yeah, how indeed.
Tom: What?
Lynette: I didn't say anything.
Lynette:Tom, it would be better for your general well-being if you did not laugh at this moment in time.
Tom:Am I going to have to ruin the surprise? Because it's a really good surprise.
Lynette:I'm thinking yeah, ruin it.
Tom:I have been going to Atlantic City for business. I am up for a top spot with Jerry's firm, Huffington Promotions. And if you don't believe me, you can call the CEO himself.
Bree: Honey, you've got to eat something.
Gabrielle: Don't have an appetite. In fact, this is all going to go to waste. You guys should take something.
Lynette: No, no, you should keep it.
Edie: I'll take a couple. (All the ladies stare at her) What? Karl dumped me, so I'm alone. Food fills the void.
