Michael Bluth Quotes
Michael: So what do you say? We got a basket full of father-son fun here.
George Michael: What's kama sutra oil?
Michael: Maybe it's not for us.
George Sr.: You're pimping out your sister?
Michael: Well you were pimping out my mother!
Michael: Just find someone else to do your bidding.
Lucille: There is no one else to do my bidding!
George Sr.: My back is in knots. I haven't had a massage since prison.
Michael: Hope that was forced ...
Gob: So, get this. I took (Sitwell's) dress eyebrows.
Michael: He's not gonna be happy about that.
Gob: No. Especially when he goes to the opera with two mustaches on his forehead.
Michael: I'm driving a staircase, for God's sake, okay? It smells like gas, I get hop-ons ...
George Sr.: Well, of course, you're gonna get hop-ons.
Michael: And most importantly, Dad, my son does not like to be seen in it.
George Sr.: (laughing) But he likes being seen with that girl!
Barry: Unfortunately, it's a private stock, so you cannot just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell.
Michael: Are you sure?
Barry: That's what they said on "Ask Jeeves".
Barry: A company called Stanpor.
Gob: Stanpor?
Michael: As in the opposite of Sitwell, which is run by a certain hairless man who could be very upset with you right now.
Gob: What has he to be upset with me about? (one of his eyebrows drops down)
Michael: You are wearing his eyebrows?
Gob: It made me feel dressier.
Buster: Mom's becoming a little controlling.
Michael: What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?
Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.
Michael: [to Lucille]You baited the balcony?
Lucille: Prove it.
George Michael: Wow, you're president again?
Michael: Yes, this is the way it should be. What do you think of when you hear the words "Sudden Valley?"
George Michael: Salad dressing, I think. For some reason, I don't want to eat it.
Michael: Right, but "Paradise Gardens?"
George Michael: Yeah, I could see marinating a chicken.
Michael: (about Sitwell) He happens to be a very modest and generous man.
Lucille: Modest and generous? Then why is he always waving giant ten million dollar checks over his head every time some...
Michael: Go ahead, Mom, finish your thought. Every time some children's hospital needs funding?
Lucille: Nonetheless.
Lucille: I've done everything I can. I even tried to convince them he's [Buster] gay, but no one would believe that a woman like me would have a gay son.
Michael: Well you certainly tried. You guys wore matching outfits until he was twelve.
