Michael Bluth Quotes
George Sr.: Hey, by the way, I broke this thing. What the hell is it, anyway?
Michael: That's a breast pump, dad.
George Sr.: Oh, well, I did not use it for that.
Lucille: It's so nice not to have to worry about getting pregnant. The doctor said I couldn't be a mother now if I tried.
Michael: And that was without even interviewing me.
Michael: You know, instead of competing with Tobias, why don't you try just spending a little bit more time with your daughter?
Lindsay: Why? Tobias doing that?
Lindsay: (regarding Tobias and their open marriage) I wonder how many women he's slept with, if any.
Michael: Lindsay, it's not a competition.
Lindsay: Of course it is, Michael. That's why they call it 'scoring'.
Michael: Maybe in the '70s.
Lindsay: That many? We've only been doing this for a month.
Michael: Why'd you have to come back here in the first place?
George Sr.: Oh, no reason. Your mother happens to be just shtupping my brother, that's all.
Barry: Well, if he's got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny.
Michael: It's not going to happen.
Michael: I think George Michael is hiding Ann in the attic.
Lindsay: From who, the Nazis?
Michael: Well, I just figured that life's too short. You two seem to care about each other, so why throw that away, huh? Huh? Ok.
(Ann walks away)
George Michael: You think we really do?
Michael: A father can tell. Ok? It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face.
Gob: Gary's gay?
Michael: Yeah.
Gob: Uh-oh. He's going to think I was coming on to him.
(Flashback)
Gob: (to Gary) You've got a nice mouth.
(Another flashback)
Gob: I'd kill for that ass.
(Another flashback)
Gob: (with Gary on his lap) Okay, the chair's not doing it now, but, lately, it's been giving out as soon as I lean back.
George Michael: I have Pop-Pop in the attic.
Michael: What? The mere fact that you call making love "pop pop" tells me you're not ready.
George Michael: It's the girl who ripped my heart out. The girl whose face will always be etched in my mind.
George Sr.: Her?
George Michael: She's really funny.
George Sr.: Well let's hope so.
Michael: Ann's here?
George Michael: Yeah, I invited her. You said you wanted to spend some time with her. You said I was being an Ann-Hog.
Michael: Ann-Hog's coming?
