The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Moe Szyslak Quotes
Moe: Heh, heh. This is the first time I ever watered down my liquor!
Lenny: Moe, why are your eyes darting back and forth like that?
Lisa: You're a heartless jerk!
Moe: Where did that come from? Oh, right, my actions.
Homer: This vibrating massage chair feels great.
Moe: That ain't a massage chair, it's just full of cockroaches.
Moe: Look at me, sitting here depressed when I'm surrounded by the happiest people in the world : writers.
(to Lisa) My brain goo's coming out all artistical, thanks to you.
Patty: Elvis Stojko is so handsome!
Selma: He can grease up my skates anytime!
Moe: Don't you hags know that all male figure skaters are twinkly in the lutz?
Elvis Stojko: That's a common misconception. I have a girlfriend in Vancouver.
Moe: Made up girlfriend, made up city!
Carl: What's wrong Moe?
Moe: I just got this strange feeling Homer's in trouble.
Lenny: That's weird I just got this strange feeling some guy I don't know named Fausto is in trouble.
Moe: Come on we got to save Homer!
Lenny: And Fausto!
Wow, even I ain't hopin' for porn.
</i> Moe
Carl: Hey can you fix the sound?
Lenny: And the color?
Moe: And show it in a regular theatre?
I hate this Homer jerk with his beautiful wife and loving family, when all I got is this doorway.
My dad was a circus freak but my mom don't remember which one. I like to think it was a little bit of all of them.
(After Bart brought Marge's character back to life)
Marge: Wait till I tell the other moms you gave two-thirds of your life force to save me. What a good boy.
(An angry mob busts in)
Moe: He's weak!
Comic Book Guy: Slay him and take his experience points!
Bart: Wait, stop. If you kill me, I'll egg your houses in real life!
Mrs. Krabapel: It's still worth it!
(She stabs Bart in the eye)
