The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Moe Szyslak Quotes
That wasn't the Wi-Fi - that was my Bell's Palsy acting up.
Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.
I'd have to move in with mom, who's dead and doesn't have a house.
Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.
I'm Moe Szyslak. Growing up, I had roundworm. Heck I was more worm than man some months. I dabbled in satanism until I was asked to leave. Oh and one month I ate nothing by aquarium fish.
My fresco! That's coming out of your stealings!
Wow, that's the farthest one of my egg ever made it down someone's throat.
Homer: And now because it's after noon, I can go to Moe's without having a "drinking problem."
Moe: Hey Homer, I could hear your pathetic rationalizing through the door.
Moe: And that's that. Another story in the classic infallible three-act structure. Good enough for Aristotle, good enough for The Simpsons.
Lisa: Mr. Szyslak I have feeling there's going to be one more act to this story.
Moe: Well I'm not hanging around for that. Pfftt. Four acts.
Gaga: Never forget, you're all my little monsters.
Moe: Actually, I'm half monster, half Armenian. Pick your poison.
If the late great Nora Ephron taught us anything,it's that - oh, what's my other inflatable doll doing here?!?
Man, soccer's even boring for the ball.
