The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMoe Szyslak Quotes
I hate this Homer jerk with his beautiful wife and loving family, when all I got is this doorway.
Carl: Hey can you fix the sound?
Lenny: And the color?
Moe: And show it in a regular theatre?
Carl: What's wrong Moe?
Moe: I just got this strange feeling Homer's in trouble.
Lenny: That's weird I just got this strange feeling some guy I don't know named Fausto is in trouble.
Moe: Come on we got to save Homer!
Lenny: And Fausto!
Wow, even I ain't hopin' for porn.
</i> Moe
Patty: Elvis Stojko is so handsome!
Selma: He can grease up my skates anytime!
Moe: Don't you hags know that all male figure skaters are twinkly in the lutz?
Elvis Stojko: That's a common misconception. I have a girlfriend in Vancouver.
Moe: Made up girlfriend, made up city!
(to Lisa) My brain goo's coming out all artistical, thanks to you.
(singing) Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me. I feel so damn lonely, won't someone kill me?! cries in hands And many more!
</i> Moe
That's a terrific title. It jumps out at you like a rat out of your underwear drawer.
Homer: This vibrating massage chair feels great.
Moe: That ain't a massage chair, it's just full of cockroaches.
Marge (reading Moe's note): "Dear pus bag . . ."
Homer: Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off?
Moe: It's for you, pus bag!
Moe: Look at me, sitting here depressed when I'm surrounded by the happiest people in the world : writers.
Lisa: You're a heartless jerk!
Moe: Where did that come from? Oh, right, my actions.
