The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Mr. Burns Quotes
(Mr. Burns and Smithers review the security camera footage at the power plant.)
Mr. Burns: Wait a minute. Go back.
(Tape rewinds)
Mr. Burns: Zoom in.
(Screen zooms in to Homer.)
Mr. Burns: Why is that man in pink?
Smithers: That's Homer Simpson, sir. He's one of your boobs from Sector 7-G.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? Well, judging by his outlandish attire, he's some sort of free-thinking anarchist.
Smithers: I'll call security, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
(Mr. Burns, Smithers, Dr. Marvin Monroe and other doctors review Homer's test shaking their heads in disbelief making tsk-tsk noises.)
Homer: So did I pass doc?
Mr. Burns: N-no.
(Doctors grab Homer and escort him out. Homer gasps and screeches.)
Smithers: Careful men. He wets his pants.
Burns: Who is that bookworm, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir.
Burns: Simpson, eh? How very strange. His job description clearly specifies an illiterate!
Well, the worm has turned, has it not, my tin-plated friend? Look out, you. You who were once so proud! Feel the wrath of the left hand of Burns!
Oh "meltdown". That's one of those annoying buzz words. We prefer to call it an un-requested fission surplus.
Mr. Burns: Well, Smithers, I guess there is nothing left but to kiss my sorry butt goodbye.
Smithers: May I, sir?
Mr. Burns: So, what did you do this weekend, Smithers?
Smithers: Well, I caught up on my laundry, wrote a letter to my mother, oh, here a kicker, and I took Hercules out to be clipped.
Mr. Burns: Who the devil is Hercules?
Smithers: Oh, he's my Yorkshire terrier, sir. He's kind of tiny, so you know, it's a joke. Here's a picture of Herky. (shows a wallet sized photo of Hercules)
Mr. Burns: Ugh. Well, Smithers, don't you know how to paint the town red!
Computer Voice: 90 seconds to core meltdown.
Smithers: Sir there may never be a better time to say...I love you, sir.
Mr. Burns: Well, hot dawg. Thank you for making my last moments on earth socially awkward.
Smithers: Sir, where's my radiation suit?
Mr. Burns: How the hell should I know? (as he covers the "Smithers" label on the suit he's wearing)
Every bone shattered . . . organs leaking vital fluids . . . slight headache . . . loss of appetite . . . Smithers, I'm going to die.
Mr. Burns: Oh, Smithers, I was wrong to play God. Life is precious, not a thing to be toyed with. Now take out that brain and flush it down the toilet!
Smithers: Sir, his family might appreciate it if you returned the brain to his body.
Mr. Burns: Oh, come on, it's 11:45!
Until Roosevelt's new deal starts working, this country's still in a depression. I'm spending a fortune on atoms. We have to cut costs.
