You smellin what I'm passin?

Okay you're watching way too much stock photo in gay porn.

Penny: You lied to him?
Jane: Ok I did not know he was going to come in like he just shot the sheriff.

Aww you're my little (and this is a working nickname) my sweet hunk of pete meat.

Bad transmission means the excitement is about to start!

Oh! Check out red shirt diaries over here. Spill much? Have a little cheese with that wine you stupid clumsy bitch! Hahaha! Oh... You guys don't do pile ons? Waitress! Club soda please, here do you want my shirt? Here's a hundred dollars!

Pete: Imagine a world where your friends don't exist... Who would we hang out with?
Penny: Rachel McAdams? Zoe Saldana?

That is cold blooded Leblonde Jane.

Penny: Oh my God, Oh my God I'm gonna die.
Alex: Me too! I mean we all are, but why are we talking about that now, it's sad.

What would Kerry Washington do in Scandal? Demand to see the President and then almost make out with him.

He said I broke the glass ceiling. That's right, I'll climb that corporate ladder in a skirt and I don't care who looks up it because I keep my yard tidy!

What's gonna be open on Christmas? A gas station, drug store, Israel?

Happy Endings Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."