Popular Perry Cox Quotes
Dr. Cox: As a parting gift I will tell you this. Narrow it down to two symptoms: vomiting and diarrhea, because it's just not ecoli unless its firing out of both exits.
Jordan: Perry, if you don't do what she says, I'll stop having sex with you and start making love to you.
Dr. Cox: Where is that bastard?! KELSO!
Unless all of you want to see me turn a two syllable word into a six syllable word I re-he-he-he-heally think that we should keep looking.
Dr. Cox
J.D.: What the hell are we supposed to do?
Dr. Cox: Loretta, relax. I've been involved in every ridiculous TV-induced panic there is. Poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, Monkey Pox, Pop Rocks, Toilet Snakes, Madcow, Birdflu, Swineflu, and quite frankly, every other flu that you could really only catch if you're actually fornicating with the animal it's named for.
Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present: "Man Not Caring".
(Points to himself and makes an uninterested face)
Ron: You know, uh... I just wanna say that, uh, I'm gonna handle this kid situation so much better than you ever could.
Dr. Cox: Oh, give me a break. I would kick your ass in situation-handling. I'm a doctor, for God sakes. And, for the record, the Vegas odds-makers are makin' Coxy a heavy favorite.
Ron: Well, then, I would just bet on me and make a bundle.
Dr. Cox: You know what? I probably would, too.
Dr. Cox: Ron, there is no easy way to do this, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I think Nathan is autistic... And that's the real reason that I wanted to spend time with him today.
Ron: This is... this is unbelievable.
Dr. Cox: I know, but the good news here is that we found out early, so you can be as proactive as you-
Ron: No, no, no. You are unbelievable. I mean... you can't handle the fact that my kid is better than your kid at building blocks, so you tell me there's something wrong with him?! You know what, uh... why don't you just get the hell out of here, hmm?
Dr. Cox: That's just not gonna happen.
Elliot: I think it is so great that you're gonna talk to your friend. And I know it's gonna be hard, so if you need me, you just say the word and I will jump right in.
Dr. Cox: I need to talk to you about Nathan.
Ron: That little guy's my life.
Elliot: I've gotta go.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I've got this one covered.
J.D.: Come on, you two are interracial best buddies. I, too, have a black best friend. Go out, enjoy it! Celebrate your uniqueness! I can do it!
Ron: So, why do you wanna baby-sit my kid? You think I can't handle my own kid?
Dr. Cox: No, that's not it at all. I think you're great with your kid. You're fantastic with your kid. In fact, in fact if you want, you can baby-sit my kid.
Ron: Are we really doing this? 'Cause I'll baby-sit the hell outta your kid.
Dr. Cox: Oh, bring it on, daddy.
Elliot: I cannot believe what I just heard!
Dr. Cox: The tick-tocking of your biological clock leading you towards the corner of Celibate and Spinster Way?
Jordan: Sometimes it's great to already have a bastard child.
Dr. Cox: You said it.
Elliot: You know, it is our obligation as doctors to tell someone when there is a problem. And I will bring a child into this world when I am good and ready, not when society dictates I must.
Dr. Cox: Say, Ronnie, what say we let the kids play for a while? They could probably play with, uh, I don't know, how about the building blocks that Jack very, very rarely ever even touches?
Ron: You know, uh, Nathan is actually in the 90th percentile in height.
Dr. Cox: Jack's only in the 85th.
Ron: Aw.
Dr. Cox: Of course, he's in the 99th for head size.
Ron: Congratulations. Your son's the Hamburgler.
