Perry Cox Quotes
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I've got this one covered.
J.D.: Come on, you two are interracial best buddies. I, too, have a black best friend. Go out, enjoy it! Celebrate your uniqueness! I can do it!
Elliot: I think it is so great that you're gonna talk to your friend. And I know it's gonna be hard, so if you need me, you just say the word and I will jump right in.
Dr. Cox: I need to talk to you about Nathan.
Ron: That little guy's my life.
Elliot: I've gotta go.
Dr. Cox: Ron, there is no easy way to do this, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I think Nathan is autistic... And that's the real reason that I wanted to spend time with him today.
Ron: This is... this is unbelievable.
Dr. Cox: I know, but the good news here is that we found out early, so you can be as proactive as you-
Ron: No, no, no. You are unbelievable. I mean... you can't handle the fact that my kid is better than your kid at building blocks, so you tell me there's something wrong with him?! You know what, uh... why don't you just get the hell out of here, hmm?
Dr. Cox: That's just not gonna happen.
Ron: So, why do you wanna baby-sit my kid? You think I can't handle my own kid?
Dr. Cox: No, that's not it at all. I think you're great with your kid. You're fantastic with your kid. In fact, in fact if you want, you can baby-sit my kid.
Ron: Are we really doing this? 'Cause I'll baby-sit the hell outta your kid.
Dr. Cox: Oh, bring it on, daddy.
Elliot: I cannot believe what I just heard!
Dr. Cox: The tick-tocking of your biological clock leading you towards the corner of Celibate and Spinster Way?
Jordan: Sometimes it's great to already have a bastard child.
Dr. Cox: You said it.
Elliot: You know, it is our obligation as doctors to tell someone when there is a problem. And I will bring a child into this world when I am good and ready, not when society dictates I must.
Ron: You know, uh... I just wanna say that, uh, I'm gonna handle this kid situation so much better than you ever could.
Dr. Cox: Oh, give me a break. I would kick your ass in situation-handling. I'm a doctor, for God sakes. And, for the record, the Vegas odds-makers are makin' Coxy a heavy favorite.
Ron: Well, then, I would just bet on me and make a bundle.
Dr. Cox: You know what? I probably would, too.
Dr. Cox: Say, Ronnie, what say we let the kids play for a while? They could probably play with, uh, I don't know, how about the building blocks that Jack very, very rarely ever even touches?
Ron: You know, uh, Nathan is actually in the 90th percentile in height.
Dr. Cox: Jack's only in the 85th.
Ron: Aw.
Dr. Cox: Of course, he's in the 99th for head size.
Ron: Congratulations. Your son's the Hamburgler.
Dr. Kelso: If there is one thing I have learned it is that you can’t schedule love.
Dr. Cox: I think your credit card statement would beg to differ.
Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present: "Man Not Caring".
(Points to himself and makes an uninterested face)
J.D.: What the hell are we supposed to do?
Dr. Cox: Loretta, relax. I've been involved in every ridiculous TV-induced panic there is. Poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, Monkey Pox, Pop Rocks, Toilet Snakes, Madcow, Birdflu, Swineflu, and quite frankly, every other flu that you could really only catch if you're actually fornicating with the animal it's named for.
Jordan: Oh, for God's sake, Perry! Adjust your bra, man up, and fire the one with the least pathetic story!
Dr. Cox: Do you really think I know any of these people's stories?
Janitor: Well, let me fill you in. First we have Hank - four kids, trying to make it on a dishwasher's salary. Next one is Mike - lost half his leg in a motorcycle accident. And then there's Judy - been here thirty years, just two away from retirement.
Jordan: You're...you're friends with all these people?
Janitor: You kidding me? I read their files. I read everybody's files, Ms. Manic-Depressive, Dr. Drinks-A-Lot.
Dr. Cox: Let's take a look at our other options. Gandhi? You appear to be a man that is utterly without talent. Unless, of course, you wanna count the fact that you are the twentieth-best basketball player in a predominately white hospital? Jordan, your only skill is illegal in twenty-six states.
Jordan: It's twenty-seven. Arkansas buckled.
Dr. Cox: Carla, that makes you my girl. Hell, we could crank up the humidity and watch your hair explode, that'd be terrific.
