Perry Cox Quotes
Dr. Cox: (Talking to Mrs. Wilk) I can't believe youre finally getting out of this death trap. I mean, the odds were against you. You had a life-threatening disease... (looks at J.D.) a life-threatening doctor... (J.D. waves to Mrs. Wilk) Anyway, it was a pleasure treating you and...
Mrs. Wilk: I know how hard it is for you to say something nice. So you can go!
Dr. Cox: Thanks!
A woman sits next to Dr. Cox at the bar
Dr. Cox: I'm actually saving that for someone.
Woman: That's not allowed.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. Say, that's a real nice pantsuit you have there.
Woman: Oh well, thank you. It's 40% off.
Dr. Cox: I say you swing by my place and see if we can get it 100% off.
Patient: I keep getting light-headed and passing out but you haven't seen it because it only happens when I yawn.
Dr. Cox: Newbie, quick, tell him a story.
J.D.: Lay off bub, okay? I'm still pretty upset about the whole Julie thing...
(Patient faints)
J.D.: You know in high school once there was a...
(Dr. Cox falls down)
J.D.: Hope that hurt.
(Dr. Cox jumps back up)
Dr. Cox: Totally worth it.
In J.D.'s room
Janitor: I come by here a couple times a week and move stuff around. Turn off his alarm. Maybe cut his bangs.
Dr. Cox: You're clearly in need of help but darn it, I'm not gonna give it to you. How sound a sleeper do you think he is?
Janitor: Well, watch this.
Janitor hits the bed and J.D. sits up then lies down again
J.D.: Why?
J.D.: I know, I haven't hit it in awhile but there's good reason for that.
Dr. Cox: Two good reasons: his face and his personality.
Jordan: Uh, Perry, this is your son. Not a rescued pit bull. Give him a kiss.
Dr. Cox: Jordan, he's starting to look like a guy and I'm just not real big on kissing guys. I mean, when my father wanted to show me affection, he would just purposely miss when he threw bottles at my head.
Mrs. London: Surgery? I'm a Jehovah's Witness, I can't get a transfusion. We believe that blood should not be passed from person to person.
Dr. Cox: Well I'm a doctor and we believe that without surgery a person in your condition can suffer from a major case of deadness!
Alright listen up and listen good. I will kill anyone who tells Carla. And that includes you Mrs. London. I will save your life and take it away.
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Now Mrs. Wilk, you have developed an allergy to melphalan. However I've come up with a new regimen that will enable us to continue treatment.
Mrs. Wilk: Ok.
Carla: Oh I think he described all the extra effort he put in so you would tell him what an amazing doctor he is.
Mrs. Wilk: Now that you told me, it won't sound sincere.
Carla: He won't care.
Mrs. Wilk: Dr. Cox, you're amazing.
Dr. Cox: It's just my job.
Lonnie: Dr. Cox, could you help me with a central line?
Dr. Cox: Fine, Lonnie. But, hand to God, if you so much as look at me for the next month I will mummify your head in surgical tape.
J.D.: How did you know I'd move too fast with Julie?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Carla: Because I know you!
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: (Watching in the security cameras) Wow! This is so cool!
J.D.'s Narration: After a day like today, there's really only one thing you can do.
(Cut to a bar with J.D., Elliot, Turk and Carla present)
J.D.: (Making a toast) To bad radiologists!
Dr. Cox: (Entering) Wait, wait, let me get in on this. Let's also have a toast to Mr. Foster's widow and his fatherless kids. (Raises his beer bottle and drinks)
Elliot: Dr. Cox, it wasn't our fault!
Dr. Cox: No, because you were lucky. You know as well as I do that it could have been any one of your faults. Congrats again. Have a, eh, have a swell party. (Walks out)
J.D.'s Narration: It's never easy when someone accuses you of screwing up...especially when you know it's true.
