The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Rajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
If we were in India this would be simpler. Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and it would be done
Raj [on approaching a girl]
Jimmy: What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching -- "Annie."
Wow. It's like the Ganges on laundry day.
But if we were part of the team that confirmed string theory, we could drink for free in any bar in any college town with a university that has a strong science program!
Wolowitz: Just imagine ... if he says yes, we'll have an entire summer without Sheldon.
Raj: We could play outside.
Wolowitz: We could sit on the left side of the couch.
Leonard: I could use the bathroom at 8:20!
Raj: Our dreams are very small, aren't they?
Raj: She gives me things, too.
Raj's father: Yeah, yeah, I'm a gynecologist. I know exactly what she gives you.
Raj: Did you forget what Penny did to you? It took two years and defiling my sister to turn that frown upside down.
Leonard: I didn't defile your sister, we had a relationship.
Raj:I heard you called her Brown Sugar. In my book, that's defilement.
Wolowitz: This is the thing from the pizza box that keeps the lid from touching the cheese.
Raj: Is that what this is for? In India, the lid just touches the cheese. Of course, we also have rampant poverty and periodic outbreaks of chlorea so a little cardboard on our cheese is no biggie
She never even got to see my penis. Ta-da!
Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.
I'm going to be deported, sent home in disgrace, exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay, or as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service
Leonard: Come on, guys, push!
Howard: If I push any harder I'm gonna give birth to my colon.
Raj: I can't feel my fingers. Hurry up!
Sheldon: It's the same amount of work no matter how fast you go—basic physics.
Raj: Sheldon, if my fingers ever work again, I've got a job for the middle one
