The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSRajesh "Raj" Koothrappali Quotes
Raj: Okay, I have a request to make.
Amy: And now he can talk. I want to cut open your brain and see what the heck is going on in there.
I like you a lot and that's scary for me. Mostly because you're a proven flight risk.
You're right. I should finish the game. I take my plus-one longsword stab myself in the face with it. I'm dead. I've got a date with a girl. Bye!
We have a new rule if no one talks for three minutes you can just hang up. I'm so into her.
Howard: Classy dog.
Raj: Yes. Also, don't forget to close the toilet or she'll drink out of it.
Howard: I feel for ya I have a psychotic mommy, too.
Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.
Well, that all stinks. No wonder you all got cancelled. Bye.
Sheldon
I do have a pretty balls-to-the-wall moisturizing regime.
No wrapper's gonna tell me what to do, unless it's Jay-Z.
Raj's girlfriend: Who's your favorite player?
Raj: Not Brian Boitano, that's for sure.
I've got to go be more butch. Tootles.
Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.
