Favorite Samantha Jones Quotes
(They are all standing in front of the locker room doors of Yankee stadium waiting for the "New Yankee")
Samantha: (as a ball player walks in front of them) Did you see that bulge?
Miranda: Ummm....he was wearing a cup.
Samantha: Well honey, his cup runneth over.
You see that guy? He's the next Donald Trump. Except he's younger and much better looking.
Charlotte: If I end up old and alone its all your fault.
Samantha: Charlotte, sweetie, we're all alone even when we're with men.
Carrie: I got mugged. She took everything I got.
Samantha: It's called the Brazilian wax.
Miranda: Why didn't you tell her to stop?
Carrie: I tried. I feel like one of those freaking hairless dogs.
Samantha: It's a ascetic thing, everyone goes bare out here.
Miranda: Of course, they do. LA men are too lazy to go searching for anything.
That girl needs a stick out of her ass and a dick in her coahie, pronto.
Hang on honey, you don't fall in love with Mr. Pussy. You enjoy him and then set him free.
Samantha: This love stuff is a motherfucka.
Charlotte: Did you just say love?
Maria: You call this a relationship?
Samantha: Well, its tedious and the sex is dwindeling, so from what I've heard, yes!
Miranda: What's the big deal? In 50 years men are gonna be obsolete anyway. I mean, already you can't talk to them, you don't need them to have kids with, you don't need them to have sex with anymore, as I've very pleasantly discovered.
Samantha: Uh oh, sounds like somebody just got their first vibrator.
Miranda: Not first, ultimate. And I think I'm in love.
Samantha: If I had a son, I'd teach him all about sex.
Carrie: If you had a son, we'd call Social Services!
I don't believe in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I just believe in parties.
It's slim pickings out there. You can't swing a Fendi purse without knocking over five losers.
