Favorite Samantha Jones Quotes
Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore. If it's bad, you just had sex with an ex.
(Responding to a drunk guy who said Miranda had a fat ass)
Samantha: For your information, her ass is fat because she just had a baby! What's your excuse?
Carrie: Yeah, you having triplets?
Carrie: Samantha, where are you going?
Samantha: I'm gonna splash some water on my face, and then I'm going home. And I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever, and blow whomever I want, as long as I can breathe and kneel.
Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their balls, because they can. It's part of their biology.
Men aren't that complicated, they're kinda like plants.
Miranda: It's like Martha Stewart exploded in here.
Carrie: Hey, look, headbands are back in style.
Samantha: I'm starving where's the food?
Miranda: Their wasps, there's never any food, only booze.
Samantha: Fine! Martini, six olives.
Samantha: I'm dating a guy with the nastiest tasting spunk.
(the girls glare at each other and Charlotte gets up and leave)
Miranda: And she's never coming back.
Samantha: Well, I'm sorry, who else can I talk to about this?
Carrie: Might I suggest no one.
Samantha: You are my girlfriends, help me? Have you ever had this problem?
Miranda: Not really, but I have to admit, that it's never been a trip to Baskin Robbins.
Samantha: I'm back with Richard.
Charlotte: Richard whose death we've been plotting?
Samantha: (walking on the street together) Ladies, seamen, 12 O'clock!!
Miranda: I pray when I turn around, there are sailors. Because with her, you never know.
Samantha: Where were you on your lunch break? I stopped by your office and you weren't there.
Richard: I was eating.
Samantha: Eating? Eating who?
Miranda: Isn't it funny, what I hate in life, I love in sex?
Samantha: So, how about you just limit your contact with him to just sex.
Miranda: Oh, that's a nice healthy relationship.
Miranda: You know, if the whole cum situation were reversed, do you think men would get anywhere near the stuff?
Samantha: Maybe, if it tasted like beer.
