The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
Howard: What do you want us to do about it?
Sheldon: You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence: Get your women in line!
Last night, I was strong-armed into an evening of harp music and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler. This on a night that I had originally designated for solving the space-time geometry in higher-spin gravity and building my Lego Death Star. And why? Your gal pals, Penny and Bernadette went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy, an action they took with no thought or regard as to how it would affect me, the future of string theory, or my lego fun time!
The two of you need to get your women in line!
Amy: At this moment, I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contact.
Sheldon: Oh, boy.
Sheldon: I can't seem to get in touch with Amy. I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall,texting her, nothing.
Leonard: Did you try calling her on the telephone?
Sheldon: The telephone. You know, Leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.
Sheldon: New topic: women. Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?
Bazinga, punk. Now we're even.
Alright, so the topic at hand is sexual fidelity. Probably won't be relying on Seuss here. Although 'One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish' might be surprisingly applicable.
I tried to scare an Indian with a snake. Come on, Cooper, you're better than this.
Leonard: Oh. Watch out, Sheldon. This little boy Casper is a g-g-g-ghost!
Sheldon: Droll.
Howard: Not as droll as a grown man passed out in a puddle of his own urine.
Leonard: That was pretty droll. With a hint of ammonia.
[reading on wall] "See you in hell Sheldon."
The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma.
Amy: Sheldon, is it possible that your foul mood -- or, to use the clinical term, bitchiness -- is because your mother isn't making you a priority?
Sheldon: No. Or, to use the clinical term: "nuh-uh."
