The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
Leonard: We enter the dungeon.
Sheldon: You see a dragon.
[Sheldon karate chops Leonard in the shoulder]
Leonard: Ow! Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: she's not for you!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Not for you!
The tinier the train the more concentrated the fun.
I've seen pictures of your mother. Keep eating.
Sheldon: Name your price.
Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.
Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City?
Amy: Nevermind.
I miss the old days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store.
Amy: Have you considered massage?
Sheldon: I'd like to respond to that sarcastically: Yes, I relish the thought of a stranger covering my body with oil and rubbing it.
Amy: I was proposing you massage your muscles with your OWN hands.
Sheldon: (aback) Still sounds like a lot of unnecessary touching...
Sheldon: Here's an interesting fact about alcohol ... Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? Hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.
Penny: Monkeys
Sheldon: When does a monkey have a trunk?
Penny: When a suitcase just won't do
Much later - Sheldon: And the answer was elephant.
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.
Amy: Although it is ... microbiology.
Sheldon: Your doctorate is in neurobiology. I fail to see the distinction.
Amy: I'll make it simple for you. I study the brain, the organ responsible for Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Lite.
Howard: You gotta like this. The girlfriend, the ex-girlfriend bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty.
Leonard: Kill me.
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.
Howard: You gotta like this: the girlfriend.....the ex-girlfriend, bonding over your rooty-tooty stinky booty?
(all but Leonard laugh)
Leonard: Kill me!
Sheldon: It wouldn't help. The human body is capable of being flatulent for hours after death.
