Shirley Quotes
Shirley: I guess the lesson here is I sometimes use guilt as a weapon.
Abed: What are you doing?
Shirley: Oh, just shooting a talking head. Or did you want me to be the only one who didn't have one?
Now I'm really getting mad. Why am I the only one he decided to torture?
Annie: We know there's no point Jeff, we kinda just felt like feeling it.
Shirley: Yeah Jeff, what are you, Abed? Oh - sorry Abed!
Abed (regarding Pierce's character): He's face down, barely breathing, a pool of blood around him.
Shirley: I can't tell you how long I've dreamed of this moment! In the game.
Chang: Are you ignoring me because I'm Korean?
Shirley: You're Chinese.
Chang: Oh there's a difference?
I don't think my character would say "tripping balls," OK?
Shirley: I'm simply a Christian woman that doesn't open her bag.
Jeff: What did the Christian woman think would happen when we got to her bag?
Shirley: The Christian woman thought you'd find it on the Muslim.
Shirley: Jeff, you don't have a bag?
Jeff: I could never deprive the world of the portion of my chest the strap would cover.
Shirley: Mother Hen? I think we're about the same age.
Britta: Sure, unless time is linear.
Shirley: I'll make your ass linear.
Britta: That doesn't make any sense.
Shirley: I'll make your ass sense.
Leonard, you better back that pumpkin ass up or I'm gonna make a pie.
Did you just scripture me, Muslim?
C'mon, Charlie Kaufman. Some of us have work in the morning!
