South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralStan Marsh Quotes
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: Dag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here you've got to be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering? "Chef, what's a clitoris? What's a lesbian, Chef? How come they call it a rim job Chef?". For once, can't you kids come in here and say "Hey Chef, nice day isn't it"?
Stan:Hey Chef, nice day isn't it?
Chef: It sure is, thank you.
Kyle: Dude, I don't know if I'm going to like the new Eric Cartman.
Stan: Did you like the old one?
Kyle: Good point.
Stan: (after the fake Kenny suffocates in Miss Crabtree's uterus) Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Sort of.
Kyle: Yeah! They killed Kenny... 's look-alike. You bastards!
Stan: Where's Gobbles?
Cartman: I don't know.
(Stan and Kyle look at him doubtfully)
Cartman: I DON'T KNOW! I might have tried to have Gobbles crushed by a stage light but that's it, I'm not an asshole.
Stan: Kyle saved your life! The least you could do is thank him!
Cartman: Alright, alright......Kyle......(opens mouth. episode ends)
Bill Cosby: Well that does it! (takes out laser gun)
Kyle: Hey! What are you doing!
Bill Cosby: I'm afraid i have no other choice! I have to kill him!
Kyle: Oh! Ok.
Stan: That's fine. No wait!
Bill Cosby: What?
Stan: Can I do it?
Bill Cosby: Oh, I suppose... (give gun to Stan)
Stan: Sweet! Kiss your ass goodbye fat boy!
Cartman, you might as well open up, we're just going to have Bill Cosby bust the door down after he finishes having sex with your mom.
Cop: Oh my God, now there's two!
Stan: No, I think the other one is Rosie O'Donnell.
(Stan, Kyle, and Kenny on seeing Ms. Choksondik.)
Stan: Whoa dude!
Kenny: Her titties are f**king huge!
(later)
Ms. Choksondik: (while writing on the board) My name is Ms. Choksondik.
Stan: More like Ms. Makes-me-sick.
Stan: This is it the end of innocence this is the loss of that playful youth that all are parents warned us about
Kyle: I just didn't think it come so soon.
Cartman: Yeah, only now do we realize how we took the 3rd grade for granted.
Kyle: Huh?
Cartman: Everything was great in 3rd grade and now that it's all over we're starting to see how special it was
Cartman: (starts singing) Remember how it used to be? In the 3rd grade we used to laugh and play and cherish each day, in the 3rd grade we learned wondrous things with a teacher so nice sat on marshmallow desks with teddy bear smiles the world all seem to make sense but that sense seemed slowly but, seemed to fade after 3rd grade. In 3rd grade we used to write with crayons we would make sparkly pictures with glitter and glue we had warm cookies and hearts full of love and it wasn't a care in the world for me or for you. There's not in this life that I wouldn't trade just to go back for 1 minute to 3rd grade.
(Clyde starts crying)
We need to stand up to this new teacher and insert ourselves.
(after Kenny dies) Who didn't see that coming?
